In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

#cultures #children #message

In some cultures, elder people make the

children

convince that they can obtain anything if they

attempt

hard enough. Sharing

children

this

though can have both benefits and drawbacks.

Firstly

this

message can motivate them and make their

lives

successful. When they feel exhausted, these words can force them to continue their work without being disappointed. And

then

, they will never be depressed whenever they fail because

Add the comma(s)

,in

show examples

their morel, they believe that they can achieve everything if they

attempt

hard.

Subsequently

, they will have the habit which

does

Wrong verb form

doing

show examples

every job trying hard. And

then

, they will

attempt

step by step to get everything they wish in their

lives

This

mindset can make their

lives

not only successful but

also

satisfactory.

Secondly

, sharing

this

Correct pronoun usage

these

show examples

though

Correct your spelling

thought

show examples

Change preposition

with

show examples

children

can make them

stressful

Replace the word

stressed

show examples

and destroy their hopes. There

are

Change the verb form

show examples

some

situation

Fix the agreement mistake

situations

show examples

that they cannot overcome

although

they try hard. The only thing they need to pass

this

situation is time.

Consequently

, they feel

stressful

Replace the word

stressed

show examples

because realize that they cannot achieve everything trying hard. The more they

attempt

, the more stressful they are. And

then

, they are not satisfied

their

Change preposition

with their

show examples

lives

and their hopes are destroyed. When everything does not occur what they expect, their

lives

will be hopeless. So,

children

can suffer from negative impacts. In conclusion, in some cultures, they are often told that they can attain everything if they

attempt

hard enough.

However

, in every case, there are both advantages and disadvantages.

Therefore

this

can make

children

’s

lives

successful as well as hopeless.

Submitted by tr.zarwaihnin on Wed Jul 20 2022

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

253 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

achieve
try hard
positive mindset
self-belief
motivates
ambitious goals
resilience
determination
confidence
self-esteem
growth mindset
unrealistic expectations
disappointment
failure
effort
hard work
seek support
individual differences
abilities
capabilities

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In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Fully explain your ideas

the pictures below show how tomato ketchup is made. summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features.

Some people think that paying taxes is a big enough contribution to society, while others think people have more responsibilities as a member of society than only paying taxes. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many children today spend a lot of time on social media which hurts their grades. what is the cause of this? What can be done to solve this?

Students in schools and universities learn more from their teachers than through other means such as the Internet, libraries, and TV. To what extent you agree or disagree?

In recent years, the family structure has changed, as well as family roles. What types of changes are occurring? Do you think these changes are positive and negative?