In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

#cultures #children #message

In some cultures, elder people make the

children

convince that they can obtain anything if they

attempt

hard enough. Sharing

children

this

though can have both benefits and drawbacks.

Firstly

this

message can motivate them and make their

lives

successful. When they feel exhausted, these words can force them to continue their work without being disappointed. And

then

, they will never be depressed whenever they fail because

Add the comma(s)

,in

show examples

their morel, they believe that they can achieve everything if they

attempt

hard.

Subsequently

, they will have the habit which

does

Wrong verb form

doing

show examples

every job trying hard. And

then

, they will

attempt

step by step to get everything they wish in their

lives

This

mindset can make their

lives

not only successful but

also

satisfactory.

Secondly

, sharing

this

Correct pronoun usage

these

show examples

though

Correct your spelling

thought

show examples

Change preposition

with

show examples

children

can make them

stressful

Replace the word

stressed

show examples

and destroy their hopes. There

are

Change the verb form

show examples

some

situation

Fix the agreement mistake

situations

show examples

that they cannot overcome

although

they try hard. The only thing they need to pass

this

situation is time.

Consequently

, they feel

stressful

Replace the word

stressed

show examples

because realize that they cannot achieve everything trying hard. The more they

attempt

, the more stressful they are. And

then

, they are not satisfied

their

Change preposition

with their

show examples

lives

and their hopes are destroyed. When everything does not occur what they expect, their

lives

will be hopeless. So,

children

can suffer from negative impacts. In conclusion, in some cultures, they are often told that they can attain everything if they

attempt

hard enough.

However

, in every case, there are both advantages and disadvantages.

Therefore

this

can make

children

’s

lives

successful as well as hopeless.

Submitted by tr.zarwaihnin on Wed Jul 20 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS writing?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

253 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

achieve
try hard
positive mindset
self-belief
motivates
ambitious goals
resilience
determination
confidence
self-esteem
growth mindset
unrealistic expectations
disappointment
failure
effort
hard work
seek support
individual differences
abilities
capabilities

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
1.Many people prefer to watch foreign films rather than locally produced films. Why could this be? Should governments give more financial support to local film industries
These days, more and more people are choosing to watch international movies, instead of local films. There are several reasons why this is happening, with key reasons being the difference in quality and appeal. As a result, the government should provide financial support and lower taxes.
4
band
you are looking for a full time job. write a letter to an employent agency. introduce yourself explain what sort of job you would like say what experience and skills you have
I am writing to inform you that I am searching for a permanent job for myself. Currently, I have a part-time job at a restaurant. On the top of that, I hold a graduation degree in the food chain.
5
band
Write a letter to the restaurant, applying for the job. In your letter: •explain what you are currently doing • describe your suitability for this area of work • say when you can attend an interview
I am writing an application for receptionist in your cafe.
6.5
band
In some countries today, people are having their first child when they are older. What are the reasons for this? Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
In recent times, a growing number of individuals in certain countries are choosing to have their first child at a later stage of life. This trend can be attributed to various factors. This essay will examine the reasons behind this phenomenon and analyze whether its advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
7
band
With the development of social media, more and more youngsters are being allowed unsupervised access to the internet in order to meet and chat with friends, which can lead to potentially dangerous situations. What solutions can you suggest to deal with this problem?
It is true that an increasing number of young children are using social media as a means of communication with friends without adult supervision. This can indeed lead to harmful situations for youngsters, and I believe parents and teachers can take some measures to tackle this issue.

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Fully explain your ideas

1.Many people prefer to watch foreign films rather than locally produced films. Why could this be? Should governments give more financial support to local film industries

you are looking for a full time job. write a letter to an employent agency. introduce yourself explain what sort of job you would like say what experience and skills you have

Write a letter to the restaurant, applying for the job. In your letter: •explain what you are currently doing • describe your suitability for this area of work • say when you can attend an interview

In some countries today, people are having their first child when they are older. What are the reasons for this? Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

With the development of social media, more and more youngsters are being allowed unsupervised access to the internet in order to meet and chat with friends, which can lead to potentially dangerous situations. What solutions can you suggest to deal with this problem?