IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The company you work for is planning to provide special training for staff. Your duty is to find out if the local conference centre has suitable facilities in order to hold the training. Write a letter to the manager of the conference centre. In your letter • Give some details about the training course • Describe what kind of equipment you will need for the course • Ask some questions about the facilities at the conference centre

Dear Sir/Madam, My name is Alicia Liberty. I am working in a Finance company and my company is going to conduct a training course for their employees.
Therefore
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, I am writing
this
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 letter to you to confirm about specific requirements before booking a conference hall at your centre. As some recent changes have been enforced by the government to stop fraud activities,
thus
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, my company needs to provide the KYC (know your Customer) and AML (Anti-money Laundering) guidelines to their personnel.
As a result
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, we need a conference hall having
capacity
Change the article
the capacity
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 to hold 50
persons
Replace the word
people
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. Though we will bring our own laptop,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
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we need a projector and two mikes from your side. Apart from that, we need sound facilities to operate mikes and catering facilities because we will offer refreshments and lunch to our employees as well. By the way, we have to organise the training as soon as possible, so, we are looking for 22nd July booking from 11:00 am - 4:00 pm. Looking forward to
hear
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hearing
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 from you about the availability and price. Yours faithfully Alicia Liberty

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to include a formal greeting by addressing the manager by name if possible.
coherence and cohesion
Try to group related ideas in a single paragraph to improve clarity.
task achievement
Ensure you are clear about the equipment needed, perhaps listing them for easy reading.
task achievement
You have identified the training course and its importance clearly.
coherence and cohesion
The letter has a clear structure with logical flow.
task achievement
Your tone is polite and professional.
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