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Band 4

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is more important to some people. Why might be this case? Do you think it is a positive or negative situartion?

#countries #home #people #case #situartion
In
this
 modern era, the
demand
 for real
estate
 is becoming very high and house
ownership
 is becoming an important factor
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
society
. In some
places
Add a comma
,places
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
property
ownership
 can be regarded as
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 token to
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
 a family.
Although
 the intention of owning a house is a
well made
Add a hyphen
well-made
show examples
 decision, the social situation coming along with it has very severe effects
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
society
. In recent years, the prices of the recent
estate
 market in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern urban
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 had a dramatic increase.
This
 is because of the rise in
demand
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
property
ownership
Replace the word
owners
show examples
 in these areas which is suitable for modern economics. Living and shelter are
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the basic necessities for human beings. But the problem is that rich investors in the real
estate
 market are buying all those properties and keeping themselves without giving chances to the
middle class
Add a hyphen
middle-class
show examples
 workers. The decrease in
supply
Correct article usage
the supply
show examples
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
real
estate
 left
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 huge unfulfilled
demand
 for the general public. And
this
 has encouraged the other citizens to see the
property
ownership
Replace the word
owner
show examples
 as
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 limited edition product and that
then
 caused
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
hazardous aftereffects in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
. As mentioned
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
above,
this
 unusual
demand
 comes with serious social issues. In places like China, the chances of marriage for those men who do not own
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
property
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 close to none.
Society
 has formed a layer for those people who cannot or do not own
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
property
.
This
 can later enlarge into serious discrimination issues and will
instill
Change the spelling
instil
show examples
 depressive emotions
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 those people.
For example
, the degrading of the workforce due to the unfair advantages. They will think that it will not be enough no matter how hard they try.
This
 workforce degradation will
then
 drag the country’s GDP. As long as big investors keep investing in real
estate
 taking control of all the housing demands, the situation will become worse and worse. The government should give serious
effort
Fix the agreement mistake
efforts
show examples
 in addressing these issues to maintain and harness
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
healthy manpower inside the country before the country will suffer what is worse to come.
Submitted by tr.zarwaihnin on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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