Some people say that traveling to a country is necessary if one want s to become familiar with a new culture. Others, however, feel that technology gives us enough tools to make travel unnecessary. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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There has been an ongoing discussion among people about whether travelling to a region or online tours can provide us with more information about the different rituals of that community. I think taking a

trip

Use synonyms

would be more beneficial and I’m going to explain it in the rest of

this

Linking Words

essay. On one hand, advocates of traditional journeys tout their many advantages.

Firstly

Linking Words

, the technology hasn’t grown that much to replace the actual

trip

Use synonyms

and it may not show small details of traditions.

In addition

Linking Words

, sometimes you should feel phenomena to understand them and technology lacks it.

Secondly

Linking Words

, experience can have far more effect on the brain to acquire new things.

Besides

Linking Words

that, in new situations and new places, those rituals occur repeatedly and make it easier for the brain to adapt to that condition and learn with long-term efficiency.

For example

Linking Words

, recent investigations have revealed that children can learn a new language 3 times faster if somebody talks to them rather than watching movies on television.

Thirdly

Linking Words

, travelling helps

human

Add an article

the human

show examples

spirit to grow and enhance its patience. In Persian,

for instance

Linking Words

, there is a phrase that says are known in the journey.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, the issue of visiting other nations has some critics. Governments usually try to earn a lot of money from the tourism industry and it can lead to costly tours for visitors.

Besides

Linking Words

the high costs of plane and train tickets, daily staff like even a bottle of water can get more expensive for the tourists.

However

Linking Words

, virtual tours can eliminate all additional fees and allow individuals to experience a foreign

trip

Use synonyms

without spending a lot.

In addition

Linking Words

, sometimes, like the pandemic period, some places have stringent restrictions for visitors which may make the

trip

Use synonyms

more difficult.

However

Linking Words

, online travel doesn’t have any limits and is 24/7.

For instance

Linking Words

, during the COVID-19 pandemic, I learned a lot about Japanese culture merely on the internet.

To conclude

Linking Words

, despite all the additional expenses, I think real trips can provide us with more details of culture and have more efficiency.

However

Linking Words

, using technology and the internet

in addition

Linking Words

to it sharpens our understanding of traditions and rituals.

yasinkooshki13866Wed Jan 03 2024

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coherence cohesion

The essay overall shows a basic level of coherence and cohesion. However, the progression of ideas can be improved. It is important to ensure that paragraphs flow naturally from one to the next, linking ideas where appropriate. Using a range of cohesive devices such as conjunctions, synonyms, and referencing phrases can also help improve the logical sequence of information.

task achievement

While you managed to express your viewpoint and provide reasons, the essay would benefit from clearer and more developed arguments. To improve the response, make sure each paragraph contains one clear main idea and a few well-developed supporting sentences. Wherever possible, use real-life examples or data to back up your points for a more persuasive argument.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

360 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Cultural immersion
Firsthand experience
Virtual tour
Cultural nuances
Sustainable travel
Empathy
International understanding
Cuisine
Local traditions
Global citizen
Documentaries
Social media interactions
Cultural exchange
Personal growth
Worldview

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Some people say that traveling to a country is necessary if one want s to become familiar with a new culture. Others, however, feel that technology gives us enough tools to make travel unnecessary. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, there are more celebrities who are famous for glamor and wealth rather than their achievements. This is a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

ome children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Nowadays many students go traveling or working for a year after graduating from high school and before starting university. Are there more advantages or disadvantages to this trend?

International travel is becoming cheaper and counties are opening doors to more and more tourist do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages