Some people say that traveling to a country is necessary if one want s to become familiar with a new culture. Others, however, feel that technology gives us enough tools to make travel unnecessary. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There has been an ongoing discussion among people about whether travelling to a region or online tours can provide us with more information about the different rituals of that community. I think taking a
trip
would be more beneficial and I’m going to explain it in the rest of this
essay.
On one hand, advocates of traditional journeys tout their many advantages. Firstly
, the technology hasn’t grown that much to replace the actual trip
and it may not show small details of traditions. In addition
, sometimes you should feel phenomena to understand them and technology lacks it. Secondly
, experience can have far more effect on the brain to acquire new things. Besides
that, in new situations and new places, those rituals occur repeatedly and make it easier for the brain to adapt to that condition and learn with long-term efficiency. For example
, recent investigations have revealed that children can learn a new language 3 times faster if somebody talks to them rather than watching movies on television. Thirdly
, travelling helps human
spirit to grow and enhance its patience. In Persian, Add an article
the human
for instance
, there is a phrase that says are known in the journey.
On the other hand
, the issue of visiting other nations has some critics. Governments usually try to earn a lot of money from the tourism industry and it can lead to costly tours for visitors. Besides
the high costs of plane and train tickets, daily staff like even a bottle of water can get more expensive for the tourists. However
, virtual tours can eliminate all additional fees and allow individuals to experience a foreign trip
without spending a lot. In addition
, sometimes, like the pandemic period, some places have stringent restrictions for visitors which may make the trip
more difficult. However
, online travel doesn’t have any limits and is 24/7. For instance
, during the COVID-19 pandemic, I learned a lot about Japanese culture merely on the internet.
To conclude
, despite all the additional expenses, I think real trips can provide us with more details of culture and have more efficiency. However
, using technology and the internet in addition
to it sharpens our understanding of traditions and rituals.Submitted by yasinkooshki13866 on
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coherence cohesion
The essay overall shows a basic level of coherence and cohesion. However, the progression of ideas can be improved. It is important to ensure that paragraphs flow naturally from one to the next, linking ideas where appropriate. Using a range of cohesive devices such as conjunctions, synonyms, and referencing phrases can also help improve the logical sequence of information.
task achievement
While you managed to express your viewpoint and provide reasons, the essay would benefit from clearer and more developed arguments. To improve the response, make sure each paragraph contains one clear main idea and a few well-developed supporting sentences. Wherever possible, use real-life examples or data to back up your points for a more persuasive argument.