Successful professional athletes can earn much more than people in other important professions, such as nurses, doctors and teacher.Someone considers it quite justified, and someone considers it unfair.To what extent tdo you agree or disagree?
The issue of
incomes
in various occupations has been discussed whether its amount is acceptable with the social position.Some famous sportsmen can earn more money than other essential careers Fix the agreement mistake
income
such
as doctors.This
leads to the critics that it is unfair regarding the public contribution.In my opinion. I agree that successful players
deserve to earn more money due to
their perseverance and icon for the youth.
To begin
with, there are numerous factors that create layman
to be well-known Fix the agreement mistake
laymen
players
.
One of the most important parts is their patience.Without this
trait, their goals could not be reached easily.Thus
, it should be fair that they should be treated with high-paid
salaries.Correct your spelling
high
For example
, before participating in any games, athletes had to run as many times as possible to get the best time record.
The more they practised, the faster they could run.As a result
, they can attain the desired positions in the final match.Thereby
, the reward for Rephrase
Therefore
hard-working
should be enough to empower them to continue their jobs.
Replace the word
hard work
In addition
, since playing sport
is the symbol of a healthy lifestyle, it raises public awareness of the value of exercise.Fix the agreement mistake
sports
In other words
, successful professional sports
players
are the hero of all fans,especially children.For instance
, many sports
activities such
as football, volleyball, and basketball are held frequently due to
the success of the national sports
team.This
leads to healthy communities which can improve the overall
quality of life.Therefore
, it should be justified to promote national sports
players
with high payroll
.
In conclusion, Fix the agreement mistake
payrolls
according to
endeavour and public figures, great players
in all kinds of sports
should deserve high revenues.Despite the indirect effects of their works, they provide crucial inspiration for the general public.
-Submitted by paisarnsi182 on
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task response
Provide a stronger thesis statement that clearly states your position on the topic and outlines the main points you will cover in the essay. Make sure to address all parts of the essay prompt and develop your ideas more fully and coherently.
coherence and cohesion
Work on organizing your ideas in a more logically structured manner. Use transition words and phrases to link your ideas more clearly and create a smoother flow of information throughout the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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