More and more people are migrating to cities in search of a better life, but city life can be extremely difficult. Explain some of the difficulties of living in a city. How can governments make urban life better for everyone?
Nowadays, the rate of migration is increasing rapidly. The amenities in
cities
caused huge population movements in
there much more than before, Change preposition
apply
hopping
for Correct your spelling
hoping
people
to make a superior life
for themselves. This
essay will discuss how difficult the
civic Correct article usage
apply
life
is for people
in cities
and things that government
can do in order to provide a better urban Correct article usage
the government
life
for everyone.
On the one
hand, it must be said that the cost of living in city
is much higher. More investments and the provision of stronger infrastructure have made Add an article
the city
a city
cities
more luxurious and expensive in comparison with other places so it is not possible for everyone to live in this
kind of cities
. Fix the agreement mistake
city
The
example Correct article usage
An
can
be mentioned Correct pronoun usage
that can
is
New York Correct your spelling
in
city
in Capitalize word
City
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
where
is Correct word choice
which
one
of the tourism hubs and
it’s considered a high-class Correct word choice
apply
city
that most people
prefer to immigrate in
there but the priciness does not allow them. Change preposition
apply
In addition
, some complication comes with the congestion of cities
. Many overcrowded cities
are dealing with air pollution and heavy traffic jam
which are logically caused by cars and public transportation so Fix the agreement mistake
jams
people
with breathing issues ore
those who are not used to the Correct your spelling
or
noisy
and over Replace the word
noise
populated
will be Verb problem
overpopulated
trouble
. Change preposition
in trouble
For example
, it seems that people
who have diseases like asthma have to leave their city
and move to small villages with cleaner climate
.
Fix the agreement mistake
climates
On the other hand
, one
of the biggest contributions that government
can give to people
in order improve
their urban lives is financial aid to needy Fix the infinitive
to improve
people
. A series of people
who are
recently immigrated or Verb problem
have
people
who are homeless can move faster in the direction of growing their lives
situation by receiving grants and even medical services. Fix the agreement mistake
life
For example
, this
work will reduce population
of Add an article
the population
disable
ones and add Wrong verb form
disabled
this
to population
of working Add an article
the population
a population
people
so it is win-win
game. Add an article
a win-win
Secondly
, it would appear that one
the
most highlighted obligations of Change preposition
of the
government
is Correct article usage
the government
provision
of suitable Add an article
the provision
a provision
centers
Change the spelling
centres
such
as hospitals, schools, companies
and Correct word choice
and companies
also
creating jobs. With enhancement
of Add an article
the enhancement
metropolitan
, Correct article usage
the metropolitan
need
Add an article
the need
of
Change preposition
for
people
in facilities will raise
and higher access to welfare equipment is required, so Correct your spelling
rise
this
is the duty of government
to meet the Correct article usage
the government
necessaries
of Replace the word
necessities
people
.
To conclude
, in addition
to the possibility of a better life
in cities
, there are also
many difficulties of urban life
, such
as high cost and congestion, but the assistance that can be provided by the government
would help to improve the quality of life
.Submitted by TUTOO on
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coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, ensure that your ideas are organized in a clear, logical manner. Use paragraphs effectively to separate different points and make use of linking words to improve the flow of your essay. Consider revising the structure of your essay for clarity, as some sentences are rather long and complex, making your argument less accessible.
task achievement
In terms of task achievement, while you made an attempt to answer the question, your response needs to be more focused and directly address the prompt. Your introduction needs to more clearly state the difficulties of living in a city, and your conclusion should succinctly summarize your arguments and suggestions. Additionally, specific examples provided should be more relevant and concrete, helping to strengthen your points.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.