Many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugars which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

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Many packaged
foods
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contain unhealthy ingredients like
sugar
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which deteriorate the health of
people
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. To deter
people
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to
Change preposition
from
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buying
such
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foods
Use synonyms
and lead them to expose
less
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to less
show examples
sugar
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their prices ought to be increased. While I agree with
this
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statement, additional
precations
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precautions
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should be implemented.
Firstly
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, Sugary products are preferable for
people
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mainly because they are affordable and have a happy effect.
People
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access
such
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foods
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in
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at
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low prices compared to healthy options.
In addition
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to
this
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, eating sugary
foods
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provide to release some hormones that
makes
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make
show examples
people
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happy. Because of these
reasons
Add a comma
,reasons
show examples
a growing number of
people
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consume
much
Correct quantifier usage
more
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sugar
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than
Correct your spelling
necessary
necessery
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necessary
for
body
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the body
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.
Increase
Wrong verb form
Increasing
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their prices would be a good remedy for
limit
Replace the word
limiting
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consumption of which.
Additionally
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, many
people
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do not aware
of
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apply
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that sugary
foods
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lead to many diseases like obesity, heart disease,
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diabetes
Correct word choice
and diabete
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diabete
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diabetes
.
Moreover
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, some
foods
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may
perceived
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be perceived
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as
a
Correct article usage
apply
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healthy. It is important to read nutrition fact labels before
purchassing
Correct your spelling
purchasing
to check to see how much
sugar
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is in a product.
Hence
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, awareness of society should be promoted about processed
foods
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and
the
Change the word
their
show examples
ingredients of those. These are some of the important ways to avoid added
sugar
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in
people
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's
diet
Fix the agreement mistake
diets
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. In conclusion, most
of
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apply
show examples
processed
Add an article
the processed
show examples
foods
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contain
much
Correct quantifier usage
more
show examples
sugar
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than
people
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need
result
Correct subject-verb agreement
results
show examples
in health issues. Even though, making them expensive is one of the solutions different ways should be applied to solve
this
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problem at
roots
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its roots
show examples
.
Submitted by ozdennevin on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

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Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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