Many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugars which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

#food #drink #products #level #sugars #health #people #sugar

Many packaged

foods

contain unhealthy ingredients like

sugar

which deteriorate the health of

people

. To deter

people

Change preposition

from

show examples

buying

such

foods

and lead them to expose

less

Change preposition

to less

show examples

sugar

their prices ought to be increased. While I agree with

this

statement, additional

precations

Correct your spelling

precautions

show examples

should be implemented.

Firstly

, Sugary products are preferable for

people

mainly because they are affordable and have a happy effect.

People

access

such

foods

Change preposition

show examples

low prices compared to healthy options.

In addition

this

, eating sugary

foods

provide to release some hormones that

makes

Change the verb form

make

show examples

people

happy. Because of these

reasons

Add a comma

,reasons

show examples

a growing number of

people

consume

much

Correct quantifier usage

show examples

sugar

than

Correct your spelling

necessary

necessery

Correct your spelling

necessary

for

body

Add an article

the body

show examples

Increase

Wrong verb form

Increasing

show examples

their prices would be a good remedy for

limit

Replace the word

limiting

show examples

consumption of which.

Additionally

, many

people

do not aware

Change preposition

apply

show examples

that sugary

foods

lead to many diseases like obesity, heart disease,

Correct your spelling

diabetes

Correct word choice

and diabete

show examples

diabete

Correct your spelling

diabetes

Moreover

, some

foods

may

perceived

Change the verb form

be perceived

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

healthy. It is important to read nutrition fact labels before

purchassing

Correct your spelling

purchasing

to check to see how much

sugar

is in a product.

Hence

, awareness of society should be promoted about processed

foods

and

the

Change the word

their

show examples

ingredients of those. These are some of the important ways to avoid added

sugar

people

diet

Fix the agreement mistake

diets

show examples

. In conclusion, most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

processed

Add an article

the processed

show examples

foods

contain

much

Correct quantifier usage

show examples

sugar

than

people

need

result

Correct subject-verb agreement

results

show examples

in health issues. Even though, making them expensive is one of the solutions different ways should be applied to solve

this

problem at

roots

Correct pronoun usage

its roots

show examples

Submitted by ozdennevin on Wed Jul 20 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

232 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugars which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In some countries, student pay their college or university fees, while in some others, the government pays for them. Do the advantages of governments paying for fees outweigh the disadvantages.

A growing number of people rely on restaurants and convenience food (frozen food and packaged meals) rather than home-cooked food to supply most of their meals. What are the advantages and disadvantages of eating this way?

Some people say that what children watch influences their behavior. Others believe the amount of time they spend on television influences their behavior most. Discuss both views and qive your opinion.

Many people believe that it is better to learn something in a group rather than individually. Do you agree or disagree?

Some students like to take distance-learning courses by computer. Other students prefer to study in traditional classroom settings with a teacher. Consider the advantages of both options, and make an argument for the way the students should organise their schedule.