IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experince and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. imp

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Some individuals believe that completing a university education is the best method to obtain a good job
while
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 others argue that, getting experience and developing soft
skills
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 are more essential. I agree with the latter suggestion, primarily because these soft
skills
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 are transferable between personal and professional
life
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.
Moreover
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, they
also
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 empower them to handle difficult situations more effectively.
To begin
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 with, completing a university education provides numerous opportunities for placement in their desired industry.
Additionally
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, through universities' structured curriculum, students are equipped with the required theoretical information for the job.
Moreover
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, as these students are being aided in landing a job, their institutes' reputation provides them an unfair advantage over others who have gained practical
skills
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 required for the task but lack a degree.
On the contrary
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, students who are provided with placements by their university, often require training to familiarise themselves with their responsibilities and office working conditions.
Furthermore
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, these recently graduated pupils lack proper time management, teamwork and communication
skills
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.
Although
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 academic
knowledge
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 is a prerequisite for high-paying jobs, most occupations
besides
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 medicine, engineering and law can be obtained through real-world
knowledge
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 and information regarding the tasks can be gained in a few weeks.
Moreover
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, if a person with soft
skills
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 is unable to obtain work; these transferable
skills
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 can be used in their personal
life
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 to manage health, family time and side hustles. In conclusion, I believe that these
skills
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 are more valuable than academic
knowledge
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 and empower people to live their
life
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 to the fullest.
Moreover
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, these
skills
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 are transferable between jobs, and personal and professional
life
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. Undoubtedly, careers in medicine, engineering and law require academic
knowledge
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however
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 other occupations,
for instance
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, electrical work, plumbing, and entrepreneurship require practical work and with theory, these tasks cannot be done.

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task achievement
Consider elaborating more on your examples related to soft skills and their applicability in the workplace. This could strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Try to ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea to enhance clarity and flow. Tighter connections between ideas could improve coherence.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly presents the topic and your opinion, setting a strong foundation for your essay.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your perspective, reinforcing your main points succinctly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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