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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

According to those in the travel business, the nature of the average “holiday” is changing. Rather than seeking a relaxing break in a far-away place, people now want excitement on their holidays and keen to participate in unusual and challenging activities. Do you agree or disagree

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A section of society holds a belief that the way
people
Use synonyms
 spend their
holiday
Use synonyms
 can differ from time to time.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, nowadays, folks are more likely to spend their
holiday
Use synonyms
 joining and participating intense activities rather than going on vacation to distant places as usual. In my opinion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 completely agree regarding
this
Linking Words
 matter as
people
Use synonyms
 tend to do something that worth their leisure as compared to
go
Wrong verb form
going
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 somewhere that can cost a plethora of their money. On the one hand, it is undeniable some folks prefer to fulfil their leisure by participating in any sports events. Seeing in believing,
this
Linking Words
 matter happens due to numerous activities
that
Linking Words
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 held by the authorities to attract the attention
to
Change preposition
of
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 those who love to challenge themselves.
For instance
Linking Words
, there
are
Change the verb form
is
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 a multitude of marathon activities on the weekend or holidays, which most
people
Use synonyms
 joining them. It does not just a mere sports event ,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
,however
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 there are prizes waiting for those participants.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the cost to travel might be one of the predominant issues for
people
Use synonyms
 as it is prohibitive for some of them. It poses that the folks are not financially stable, chiefly due to pandemics that hit the world recently. To put it another way, not everyone can afford to travel;
therefore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 thing is already normalized in society.
For instance
Linking Words
, there are numerous matters that need to be considered when going the
holiday
Use synonyms
 vacation. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 some
people
Use synonyms
 enjoy their
holiday
Use synonyms
 differently, it does not a huge matter as everyone has their own preferences. I think society needs to change
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 low-class mentality minded by thinking that travelling is the only way
people
Use synonyms
 spend their leisure on the
holiday
Use synonyms
.

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