IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Explain some of the ways in which humans are damaging the environment. What can governments do to address these problems? What can individual people do?

#humans #environment #governments #address #people
In our modern society, the
environment
 is always a hotly- debated topic.
This
 is the fact that human beings are damaging the
environment
 seriously in various aspects.
Therefore
 both governments should offer laws to protect it and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individuals
also
 need to know their responsibilities for saving the
environment
. Obviously, human beings are ruining the natural habitats seriously in a variety of ways.
Firstly
, the air is affected dramatically by the ever-increasing of citizens and their private transportation. Since
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
vehicles
is
Change the verb form
are
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 leading to air pollution
such
 as
:
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the
omnipresent
Replace the word
omnipresence
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 of private cars and motorbike, especially
metropolis
Change preposition
in metropolis
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such
 as Ha Noi and Ho Chi Minh city.
Consequently
, All these things can demolish
ozone
Correct article usage
the ozone
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 layer and cause the greenhouse effect seriously.
Furthermore
, the factory is more established and the amount of waste
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 eliminated into rivers, lakes, etc. Not only does the manufactory make an impact but the
people
 are
also
 a part of direct bringing out
a non-biodegradable ingredients
Correct the article-noun agreement
non-biodegradable ingredients
a non-biodegradable ingredient
show examples
 or slow decomposition.
Furthermore
, It
create
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creates
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 serious negative ramification
to
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for
show examples
 water that results in disease
of
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apply
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people
 and
die
Replace the word
death
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 of organism sea.
Besides
, the exploitation
minerals
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of minerals
show examples
 , deforestation or animal hunting, etc,
also
 cause floods, change clime and make serious effects
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
soil
Add an article
the soil
show examples
environment
.
Therefore
, one immediate practical solution is
Fix the infinitive
to belong
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belong
Wrong verb form
belonging
show examples
 to the government that gives out strongly measure and law for treatment, warm for the
people
 who have behaviours
Correct your spelling
opposed
itoppose
Correct your spelling
oppose
.
Next
, the government can launch, propaganda, invite,
canvass
Correct word choice
and canvass
show examples
to
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apply
show examples
everyone about
protect
Wrong verb form
protecting
show examples
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
.
For example
, in the school always organize for students have one-day cleaning labour surround school or organize activities exam draw or write about protect
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
 and students had
responsible
Replace the word
responded
show examples
 to project
environment
 “green-clean-beautiful”.
Correct your spelling
Moreover
Moreovers
Correct your spelling
Moreover
,
Add an article
an individual
the individual
show examples
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 should plant and use
pulic
Correct your spelling
public
 vehicles and just know how to classify garbage,
tackle
Correct word choice
and tackle
show examples
correctly
Correct pronoun usage
it correctly
show examples
 to improve the
environment
. In conclusion, the
environment
 life is very important so it needs to be protected to the
people
 and every have life strongly develop.
Submitted by phuongthao.3822 on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Pollution: contamination, emissions, pollutants, industrial waste
  • Deforestation: habitat loss, biodiversity, urban development, logging
  • Climate Change: greenhouse gases, global warming, fossil fuels, renewable energy
  • Overfishing: unsustainable, fish stocks, marine ecosystems, conservation
  • Waste Production: non-biodegradable, plastics, recycling, waste management systems
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