Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is hard to deny that
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
education
Use synonyms
before 18 enables young people
gain
Add the particle
to gain
show examples
adequate knowledge that might be useful in
future
Add an article
a future
show examples
Use synonyms
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
, and
such
Linking Words
a fact leads impressionable people to generate the opinion that the young should be taught in
school
Use synonyms
full
time
Use synonyms
before 18.
However
Linking Words
,
such
Linking Words
a statement suffers from both logical and factual fallacies
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and should be examined meticulously. As far as financial support, problem-solving skills and
career
Use synonyms
path are concerned, I strongly hold that
students
Use synonyms
before 18 should not be in
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
education
Use synonyms
.
First
Linking Words
and foremost, studying in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school
Use synonyms
as well as taking a part-job can reduce
financial
Add an article
the financial
show examples
burden of some less well-off families. Institute
fees
Use synonyms
are usually high, and parents should pay for primary
school
Use synonyms
fees
Use synonyms
, junior high
school
Use synonyms
fees
Use synonyms
and senior high
school
Use synonyms
fees
Use synonyms
, which means a large amount of expenditure for families. If a student from
less
Add an article
the less
show examples
well-off background can take a part-job after
school
Use synonyms
, he or she can help remove the financial stress.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, taking a part-job may improve
students
Use synonyms
'
problem solving
Add a hyphen
problem-solving
show examples
skills, which can not be
gain
Wrong verb form
gained
show examples
in
school
Use synonyms
study. To be more specific,
students
Use synonyms
in
school
Use synonyms
would face
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
problems, and all they need to do is
having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
classes and
finishing
Wrong verb form
finish
show examples
their homework.
However
Linking Words
, when young people have jobs in companies, they have to tackle all kinds of issues,
such
Linking Words
finishing
Change preposition
as finishing
show examples
a PPT in
foreign
Add an article
a foreign
show examples
language or organizing a meeting for their department.
As a result
Linking Words
, they will gain a deep understanding of how to handle things difficult.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, a voice arises that young person who accepts
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
education
Use synonyms
would have enough academic
Correct your spelling
knowledge
knowedge
Correct your spelling
knowledge
to use in their
further
Linking Words
jobs. Ironically, because of lacking the ability to combine their expertise and the requirement of jobs, they would
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
eventually fail in their
career
Use synonyms
path.
Therefore
Linking Words
, having
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
education
Use synonyms
before is
also
Linking Words
Correct your spelling
beneficial
benificial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
to
career
Use synonyms
development. In conclusion, I maintain that as far as financial support, problem-solving skills and
career
Use synonyms
path are concerned, I strongly hold that
students
Use synonyms
before 18 should not be in
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
education
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by 522167338 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • fundamental cornerstone
  • literacy and numeracy
  • social inequalities
  • foundation of knowledge
  • social mobility
  • informed and engaged citizenry
  • democratic processes
  • youth crime rates
  • productive activities
  • vocational training
  • workforce
  • stifling individual talent
  • economic contribution
  • stress and mental health issues
  • unsuitable educational system
  • one-size-fits-all approach
  • diverse talents
  • career paths
  • formal academic education
  • financial strains
  • low-income countries
  • improving quality of education
What to do next:
Look at other essays: