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Band 2

Most people say that in order for one to be fluent in a language, they must live and work for sometime in that Country. Do you agree/disagree?

#people #language #work #country
First
 of all, increasing salary will certainly improve
employees
' loyalty to the company. Many workers complain that the limited disposable income is the primary reason for them to permanently leave their enterprises. Considering the significance of wages, it comes as no surprise that the retention rate in companies that provides more benefits to
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 staff is far higher than
others
Change preposition
in others
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. Welfare,
such
 as increased paid leave and holiday pay, will
also
 help
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companies
companys
Correct your spelling
companies
 attract talents. Ultimately, when it comes to fierce competition, businesses that treat their workers badly will suffer
brain
Correct article usage
a brain
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 drain.
In addition
,
rise
Correct article usage
a rise
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 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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income will inspire
employees
 and contributes to their creativity.
Employees
 who work under a tight budget are likely to feel depressed and disoriented. As the old saying goes, "Money cannot buy everything, but it can buy your way out of troubles". Specifically,
high income
Add a hyphen
high-income
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 guarantees
employees
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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get
Correct your spelling
rid
show examples
ride
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rid
show examples
 of daily chores and become more focused on their duties at
hands
Fix the agreement mistake
hand
show examples
. Studies show that
Correct your spelling
companies
companys
Correct your spelling
companies
 can benefit from highly creative and productive
employees
.
Submitted by jiachenguq on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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