Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think that it is a waste of time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In
this
contemporary epoch, whilst proponents hold the view that Linking Words
art
is a crucial Use synonyms
subject
in the school curriculum, opponents have diverse perspectives. Use synonyms
However
, I am a staunch believer that Linking Words
this
Linking Words
subject
is considered a waste of time because it may hinder students from spending sufficient time learning a scientist’s material. Both views, Use synonyms
along with
my point of view will be Linking Words
further
explained.
On the one hand, despite disagreeing that Linking Words
art
should be a salient Use synonyms
subject
like other core materials, some advocates believe that Use synonyms
art
facilitates the intellectual development of children. Use synonyms
In other words
, when scholars’ mind is armed with creative skills, they will learn things promptly and efficiently. Linking Words
For example
, a study conducted by the University of Oxford, England, revealed that students who have studied artistry learn a new lesson faster than those who do not. Linking Words
Thus
, what can be said is that crafts are paramount to improving interpersonal skills.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, some people argue that Linking Words
art
is not a practical Use synonyms
subject
, and incorporating Use synonyms
such
modules Linking Words
in
the curriculum will hamper the pupils’ future. Change preposition
into
This
means that if the learners study other than Linking Words
extra-curriculum
Correct your spelling
extracurricular
activity
Fix the agreement mistake
activities
this
will boost their chances of getting a good job in multinational companies. To illustrate, a recent survey conducted by Times Magazine has shown that many science graduates get better job offers, Linking Words
whereas
some artists are struggling to earn their livelihood. Linking Words
Hence
, scientific subjects are not only vital to gaining a thriving job but Linking Words
also
help in applying to a prestigious university.
In conclusion, Linking Words
after
Linking Words
this
essay has manifested the above-mentioned points, it can be reiterated that even though Linking Words
art
ameliorates cognitive skills, core materials are quintessential to ensure a better future. Use synonyms
Therefore
, I am convinced that Linking Words
art
is a complete loss of time and cannot be a Use synonyms
subject
to study to earn a living.Use synonyms
Submitted by mohammedlotfy2010 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task response
The essay doesn't fully address the task prompt. It fails to provide a balanced discussion of both views and gives more weight to the opinion against art as a subject. It should be more neutral in presenting both sides of the argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear structure and coherence. The introduction and conclusion are vague and the supporting points lack development and organization. Use signposts, transition words, and clear topic sentences to improve coherence and cohesion.