Some argue younger people are not suitable for important positions in the government, while others think this is a good idea. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Introduction

Some individuals firmly believe that young people cannot play a vital role in the administration,

whereas

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others think they are indispensable in the crucial positions of the company. Personally, both attitudes are understandable. I am going to discuss these two views and elaborate on my own perspectives in the following paragraphs.

Body · 1

On one hand, several governments would not appoint the youth to pivotal positions for reasons.

For example

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, younger people usually lack abundant experience so they do not know how to make a decision when necessary.

Accordingly

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, it is hard for them to efficiently issue an order and lead the whole team to achieve the company's goals.

Hence

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, it seems that the juniors are not appropriate to take up a major role in the administration.

Body · 2

However

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, there are advantages for the younger people who hold a significant role in the company.

For instance

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, owing to their capabilities the older staff may not have,

such

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as utilizing technological devices to deal with anything in the workplace.

Additionally

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, the juniors are

also

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usually more aggressive than the seniors. The former are willing to try their utmost to devote themselves to the occupation.

Therefore

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, if the youth are assigned to vital positions in the government, they are able to make the organization more dynamic, leading directly to social progress.

Conclusion

To sum up

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, it is apparent that the juniors acting as a considerable post are more beneficial to the firm.

Although

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they have a dearth of experiences, they naturally possess energetic characteristics.

Thus

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, it is better to grant an opportunity for them to be a crucial post in the government.

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Jul 22, 2022

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task response

Provide more detailed and balanced arguments for both views. Make sure to address the specific points raised in the prompt and give a clear opinion.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a basic logical structure, but could benefit from more explicit signposting of the different views and arguments. Ensure a clear introduction and conclusion are present.

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

266 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

far-reaching consequences
life and professional experience
judicious policymaking
fresh perspectives
stagnant systems
progressive and inclusive policies
political acumen
ineffective governance
demographic
long-term planning
authoritative presence
manipulation
seasoned politicians
adaptable
open-minded
flexibility in problem-solving

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