IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people prefer activities and lifestyles in hot climates while others prefer living in cold climates. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #activities #lifestyles #climates
People
 around the world like different
climates
. Some
people
 love to live or do activities in hotter
climates
.
In contrast
, there are other
people
, who prefer and enjoy cold
climates
.
This
 essay will discuss both points of view On the one hand, many
people
 like a hot environment for living or travel for different reasons. Mostly,
this
 kind of area has longer days and
people
 can do long day activities.
In addition
,
people
 from countries
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
were
Correct your spelling
where
show examples
 they have less sun exposure during the entire year like to spend time in sunny places and
also
 like to get tanned.
Furthermore
Add a comma
,Furthermore
show examples
 they enjoy
to wear
Change the verb form
wearing
show examples
 summer clothes. Not only
this
 but
also
 the sky at night are very clear with a lot of stars, many
people
 like
this
 spectacular view.
For example
, Dubai has a hot climate almost the entire year and many
people
 visit from different counties to enjoy the sun and do many different activities during the day.
On the other hand
, some
people
 love to live in colder
climates
 because it gives a boost to their productivity. For
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
instant, many
people
 can not think or concentrate on work in hot
climates
, while in a coder place they feel comfortable because of less perspiration.
Furthermore
, many
people
 are born and brought up in
this
 kind of
climates
Fix the agreement mistake
climate
show examples
 and their bodies are adjected to live with it.
For example
, someone who was born in Canada
Add a missing verb
is like
show examples
like
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a cold country,
it
Correct word choice
so it
show examples
 will be hard for
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
to move to Dubai
like
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a hot country. In my opinion, clod
climates
 are more comfortable for living and working because it will keep you cool and the air will feel cleaner and less dust. Though, sometimes extreme cold will make living harder. To conclude, different
people
 live in different
climates
 based on where they currently live and work and what makes them feel more comfortable base on their interests.
Submitted by nic86 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: