IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Modern technology is now very common in most work place. How do you think this has changed the way we work? Do you think there are disadvantages to relying too much on technology?

#technology #work #place
The charts represent the
percentage
 of rewards with the US airlines and the satisfaction rate with aspects of air
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 in 3 years: 1999, 2000, 2007. At
first
 glance, the highest proportion of significant satisfaction was in 2007 with 72% while the rewarding of the airline had the lowest
percentage
 (below 70%).
In contrast
, the dissatisfied rating only had approximately one-
third
 of than reward. The proportion of striking dissatisfaction was at a peak with 32% in the chart. Plus, the
percentage
 of unpleased rate decreased slightly in 2000 (with 29%) and 2007 (with 24%). Specifically, the satisfaction with courtesy of flight attendants and ticket price had the highest
percentage
 in 2007 with 92% and 65%.
Besides
 that in 2000, the heading below is lower whether the courtesy of check-in gates was at a peak with 89% and had the same proportion of schedules within 2007 at 79.
Moreover
, the comfort of seats is only had rated in 2007 with 47%.
However
, the lowest rewarding aspect of the airline is in 1999. In general, the pleased rating in aspects of the airline of customers is higher over time. It can be seen that their effort in developing facilities decreases dissatisfaction.
Submitted by jakelong16091994 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays:
  • <4
    band

    the picture illustrates instant noodles making process steps. describe it is with 150 word

    The given diagram demonstrates the production process of instant noodles.
  • 5.5
    band

    The best way to solve environmental problems is increase the fuel cost? do you agree or disagree?

    Some argue that the most optimal solution to address the global environmental crisis is to increase the fuel price. From my perspective, I would like to refuse this notion as these problems caused by many factors and other approaches will be more effective due to some long-term benefits.
  • 5.5
    band

    People should follow the customs and traditions when people start to live in a new country. To what extent do you agree or disagree

    In the modern busy life, there are a large number of immigrants who have been willing to have a comfortable life in other nations. Many advocate that people should conform to the local customs and traditions when they settle in a new country. From my respective, I strongly agree with this idea because of some problems and benefits that people can face with them. There are two important reasons why newcomers should blend into the local culture in the host country. Firstly, the refusal to adapt to host environment would create a cultural barrier for immigrants. This leads to social isolation, which has negative influences on people’s lives. Secondly, it is logical/true that limited knowledge of local customs may result in some illegal actions in the host country and make local/native people unpleased. For instance, in Singapore, one of the cleanest countries in Asia, local residents consider anyone dirty and ill-mannered if they litter the street or spit gum in the public. Newcomers c...
  • 4.5
    band

    People today are spending more and more time outside of the home. What are the reasons for this trend? What effects is it having on individuals and society?

    In this contemporary era, no one hardly likes to utilise time with family. It is believed that spending myriad hours outside the accommodation is mostly preferred by a group of individuals. Although, several causes of this phenomenon are hectic schedules and the influence of peer groups which largely disturb the family relations of individuals and distract the younger generation in the community.
  • 4
    band

    Some people think that some type of criminals should not go to prison, instead they should do unpaid work in the community. To what extent do you agree?

    Variety of crimes are being punished by prison, however some people believe that certain offenders should not be imprisoned ,rather they should do community services. I agree that in some cases, prison may not be the best solution and community work will help them to rehabilitate. The first thing to consider is the young offenders, which are being involved in all type of crimes, can never be put into the prison. This is because the children’s mind can be moulded easily, so before giving them harsh punishment the whole matter should be looked for. For instance, several mobsters force needy kids to do illegal acts for the sake of money, which make them delinquent juveniles. The rest of the life of the youngsters can be saved by teaching them good deeds along with the community works so that they can understand the value of their life. The second thing to be considered is that the drug addicted persons, who are culprit can never be imprisoned. The reason is that they ...