Nowadays, fashion has become more important. It is having a negative effect on young people? Do you agree or disagree?
In
this
contemporary ,world unique dressing has become more vital and are they negatively affecting teenagers?.
In Change the punctuation
?
this
essay, I will disagree with this
statement. Firstly
, I would explore the
fashion becoming part and practice of young blood and moving forward, I prefer discussing whether it's having a bad impact on the younger generations.
Correct article usage
apply
To begin
with, modern societies have changed their dressing styles over the year
as they are influenced by trendsetters Fix the agreement mistake
years
therefore
it is a human tendency that our desires keep on changing in our day-to-day life so It is very important to make ourselves trendy in terms of lifestyles. For example
, In the golden ,days adults would prefer
wearing traditional dresses which are now taken a U-turn and nowadays adults Wrong verb form
preferred
are preferring
Wrong verb form
prefer
western
dress. Capitalize word
Western
Furthermore
, fashionable clothes are very vital for teenagers to be confident and show their uniqueness among others however
it would lead to self-satisfaction because human beings are very impulsive towards their outward looks. For Instance
, children are always worried about their outer look though they want to look like an actor which they like the most.
On the other hand
, younger generations may feel comfortable in modern clothes and be very free to wear them around their cities although
, they may not feel safe on top of their head they might think of their beauty and get disappointed which is not true and they have to deal with these kinds nervousness in their life. To Illustrate
, In some situations, a person may feel a bit uncomfortable with their dress and that would affect their minds where they would overthink and make assumptions about their looks. Fix capitalization
illustrate
Moreover
, communities feel shy because they haven't seen this
kind of outfit,as a result
, they may judge other people and this
will affect another fashionable person's feelings. Exemplar
, In villages, society still tends to be traditional and they would be surprised Replace the word
Example
by seeing
these kinds of modernized kids.
In summary, It Is very important to be stylish because It may impress your work culture and Change preposition
to see
also
gives
you more confidence to tackle offshore clients. In my opinion, companies should encourage trendy work cultures for the workers.Correct subject-verb agreement
give
Submitted by pratikkalmani113 on
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Task Response
The essay addresses the prompt but lacks development and depth in the response. More thorough exploration of the positive effects of fashion on young people and a stronger argument against the negative effects would improve the task response.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear structural progression, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, there is inconsistency in the development of ideas within paragraphs, leading to some confusion. Using clearer topic sentences and ensuring each paragraph supports the main argument would enhance coherence and cohesion.