The percentage of overweight children in western countries has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend.

In the
last
ten years, the number of
children
suffer
Wrong verb form
suffering
show examples
from
obesity
in western countries has risen by almost 20%. Doing less exercise and eating much junk food are the main reasons for that.
As a result
,
children
’s health deteriorated, causing many health issues, and overweight
children
might
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
loss
Replace the word
lose
show examples
confidence as well. One of the
first
reasons
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the number of
obesity
increased so
much
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
quickly is that
children
always sitting and lack
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
exercise.
For example
, as technology developed,
children
are more willing to
spent
Change the form of the verb
spend
show examples
more time
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
sitting before the computer and playing computer games rather than
go
Wrong verb form
going
show examples
outside to have a walk. Another reason that needs to be considered is
children
are the main group of people who consume fatty food.
Such
as chips and pizza which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
full of oil.
Consequently
,
those unhealthy diet
Change the determiner
that unhealthy diet
those unhealthy diets
show examples
would cause weight growth rapidly.
Obesity
would cause many
healthy
Replace the word
health
show examples
issues for
children
.
For example
, they might have a high blood level or diabetes at a very young age, so
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they need to pay more attention
about
Change preposition
to
show examples
their playing and
eating
Change the capitalization
Eating
show examples
Behavior. They cannot play
everything
Change preposition
with everything
show examples
as well as
eating
Wrong verb form
eat
show examples
everything,
this
might
causes
Change the verb form
cause
show examples
some
psychology
Replace the word
psychological
show examples
problems.
In addition
, some overweight
children
might
loss
Replace the word
lose
show examples
confidence
about
Change preposition
in
show examples
themselves. Because of
obesity
,
children
might not like to express themselves freely since they are afraid of judgement
comes
Wrong verb form
coming
show examples
from
other person
Change the wording
another person
other people
show examples
,
such
as giving a performance before their peers.
Thus
,
obesity
might cause ill-effect both
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
their body
or
Correct word choice
and
show examples
their maid. In conclusion, lack of exercise and eating much junk food would lead to a bad effect
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
children
’s
body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
show examples
and
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
. Teachers in the school should always give some
healthy
Replace the word
health
show examples
education classes and parents should give their
children
a good example at home.
Submitted by y.zhou46 on

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