some people think reading stories in books is better than watching tv or playing computer games for children. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #stories #books #tv #computer #games #children

Many people argue that watching TV or playing computer games are of no use,

instead

reading stories have much positive impact on children.

However

, I believe in the same.

This

essay not only discusses explanations but

also

relevant examples.

To begin

with,

initially

, reading stories may help children in habituating the same, which may be essential for them in future. Elaborating, reading is the quality, which makes people a wise person,

moreover

Add a comma

,moreover

show examples

it is a quality of greatest personalities. If kids start reading

since

Change preposition

show examples

their childhood, they may addict to the same and continue to do it

further

in their future, adding

Change preposition

apply

show examples

, even if they do not prolong

this

habit

further

, it is helpful for them in a way

which

Correct word choice

that

show examples

television cannot.

For example

, if a learner starts learning story books, they do not have time for other distracting activities,

therefore

productive time for them

in addition

they provide moral values.

Furthermore

, watching programs and online pastimes are health hazards.

In other words

, the screens of these gadgets reflect brightness, which is harmful to their eyes not only

this

but

also

they emit radiation, which affects their brain, as a consequence damaging their mental health,

instead

reading books have no side effects

additionally

they benefit humans in numerous ways.

For instance

, recently I came across a piece of news in which a 13-year-old boy is not in a state to recognize their parents and the most surprising part is

this

happened because of an online gaming application to which he is addicted.

Thus

,they are useless. To conclude, I completely agree with the given statement. Studying story books gives various merits which other entertainment sources cannot assure.

Submitted by mk.manasa26 on Fri Jul 22 2022

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16Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

274 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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