IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

#people #information #research #business #world
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Recently, there
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 been conflicting viewpoints on the sharing of
research
Use synonyms
 in many various work sectors as well as academically. Some believe that all data should be freely obtainable, while others
Correct your spelling
view
viewed
viewe
Correct your spelling
view
 certain select
information
Use synonyms
 as paramount and
thus
Linking Words
 should not be easily available.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both contrasting viewpoints.
First
Linking Words
 of all,
Change the capitalization
I'll
show examples
i'll
Change the capitalization
I'll
show examples
Correct your spelling
address
adress
Correct your spelling
address
 the stance
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 those who choose to share as much knowledge as conceivable. These individuals view
information
Use synonyms
 as a resource that should be attainable by fellow colleagues.
This
Linking Words
 viewpoint is one that has benefited progress in
research
Use synonyms
. The sharing of
information
Use synonyms
 has availed many researchers to work towards a common goal and
thus
Linking Words
 reach a probable solution much quicker.
This
Linking Words
 was clearly evident in biological concepts
such
Linking Words
 as genes and inheritable traits, where scientists
such
Linking Words
 as Mendel, Hardy and Weinberg all contributed to getting facts and
thus
Linking Words
 forming a cohesive
Correct your spelling
knowledge
knowlede
Correct your spelling
knowledge
 on
this
Linking Words
 matter.
This
Linking Words
further
Linking Words
illusrates
Correct your spelling
illustrates
 the necessity of
ilimitable
Correct your spelling
illimitable
inimitable
 data
Conversely
Linking Words
, others have argued that certain facts are highly valuable and
thus
Linking Words
 shouldn't be attainable.
This
Linking Words
 could be seen in ongoing
research
Use synonyms
 on human subjects. When dealing with patients, it is against the law to share personal
information
Use synonyms
 as its an intrusion of privacy. Take the US as an example, there
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 been numerous lawsuits, whereby certain figures were shared without the patient's consent. Obtaining
information
Use synonyms
 through
this
Linking Words
Correct your spelling
approach
appoach
Correct your spelling
approach
 is wrong and
thus
Linking Words
 lawsuits are usually made.
Although
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
information
Use synonyms
 may have been useful it was got through the wrong means. To conclude, factual details are of utmost importance in
research
Use synonyms
,
although
Linking Words
 most can be shared, it is imperative to
Correct your spelling
obtain
obain
Correct your spelling
obtain
 consent from the parties it affects before publishing the relevant knowledge.
Submitted by nyamatakaare92 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • information sharing
  • scientific research
  • business
  • academic world
  • advancement of knowledge
  • progress
  • collaboration
  • cross-disciplinary research
  • open access
  • democratization of information
  • transparency
  • credibility
  • intellectual property
  • security concerns
  • commercial interests
What to do next:
Look at other essays: