Many believe that success in life mainly depends on hard work and determination while others believe that factors like money and personal appearance are important. Discuss both views and give your opinion

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is no doubt that these days being a successful person
affected
Add a missing verb
is affected
show examples
by many factors. Some people argued that hard
working
Replace the word
work
show examples
is the major one. Whilst others claim that money and power play a significant role to reach an achievement.
This
Linking Words
paper will investigate both views . Eventually, I will draw my own conclusion. On the one hand, Success
affected
Add a missing verb
is affected
show examples
by
Correct your spelling
my
show examples
strong intention.
In other words
Linking Words
, individuals who believe in their capabilities have a huge chance to face any challenge and reach their goals
also
Linking Words
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
learn from their own experiences and mistakes. As a shining example, Cristiano Ronaldo was a poor guy from low_
income
Correct article usage
a income
show examples
family and now he become
on
Correct your spelling
one
show examples
of the most prominent
influnceres
Correct your spelling
influencers
influences
in the whole globe. On the other side of the coin, some
pupil
Fix the agreement mistake
pupils
show examples
claim that funding and wealth could play a radical role in success. To illustrate . A study has been published by
king
Change the capitalization
King
show examples
Saud University states that many
Correct your spelling
businessmen
show examples
business men
Correct your spelling
businessmen
show examples
in Saudia Arabia
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
become from rich and powerful families. Financial aids and powerful social positions create a plethora amount of educational and commercial opportunities to utilize
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
some argued that to be a successful person you should
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
work and learn from your
fails
Replace the word
failures
show examples
. Others claim that you have to be wealthy and use your financial features to achieve your goals.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I strongly believe learning from others and hardworking have been always associated with brilliant people.
Submitted by hno_aaa on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: