Many believe that success in life mainly depends on hard work and determination while others believe that factors like money and personal appearance are important. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#success #life #work #determination #factors #money #appearance

There is no doubt that these days being a successful person

affected

Add a missing verb

is affected

show examples

by many factors. Some people argued that hard

working

Replace the word

work

show examples

is the major one. Whilst others claim that money and power play a significant role to reach an achievement.

This

paper will investigate both views . Eventually, I will draw my own conclusion. On the one hand, Success

affected

Add a missing verb

is affected

show examples

Correct your spelling

show examples

strong intention.

In other words

, individuals who believe in their capabilities have a huge chance to face any challenge and reach their goals

also

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

learn from their own experiences and mistakes. As a shining example, Cristiano Ronaldo was a poor guy from low_

income

Correct article usage

a income

show examples

family and now he become

Correct your spelling

one

show examples

of the most prominent

influnceres

Correct your spelling

influencers

influences

in the whole globe. On the other side of the coin, some

pupil

Fix the agreement mistake

pupils

show examples

claim that funding and wealth could play a radical role in success. To illustrate . A study has been published by

king

Change the capitalization

King

show examples

Saud University states that many

Correct your spelling

businessmen

show examples

business men

Correct your spelling

businessmen

show examples

in Saudia Arabia

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

become from rich and powerful families. Financial aids and powerful social positions create a plethora amount of educational and commercial opportunities to utilize

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

. In conclusion,

although

some argued that to be a successful person you should

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

work and learn from your

fails

Replace the word

failures

show examples

. Others claim that you have to be wealthy and use your financial features to achieve your goals.

Therefore

, I strongly believe learning from others and hardworking have been always associated with brilliant people.

Submitted by hno_aaa on Sat Jul 23 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

240 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.5

Complete response

4.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
In modern era, it is easy to sell, buy and work with other people through internet. But others against it. Do you think this is positive trend or negative trend.
There are two contrasting perspectives regarding internet usage in the working area. Some individuals advocate that the internet helps them in selling, buying, or working in this recent time, while others assert the opposite. Despite the negative impact it may cause, in my opinion, however, this situation leads to positive development.
6.5
band
Students are becoming more and more reliant on the Internet. While the Internet is convenient, it has many negative effects and its use for educational purposes should be restricted. How far do you agree with this statement?
Nowadays, the Internet is used widely in education around the world. Some people say it is beneficial for teaching and learning because there is so much information available. However, others claim that the Internet is bad for students' research skills and believe that its use should be restricted. I believe that the use of the Internet should be limited in some ways, but it is still a valuable educational tool.
<4
band
In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What are your opinion on this?
Have you ever heared that there people get engaged while the are kids?. In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility.This essay will discuss both point of view.
6.5
band
Write about the following topic: Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child’s development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
The debate about whether homeschooling or traditional schooling is better for children is ongoing. Both options have their unique benefits for a child’s growth.
6
band
Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
The more people trust alternative medicine instead of the treatment from doctors. In my opinion, it will bring negative impacts and high risk to patients with serious health problems due to the misuse of drug prescription and care.

Many believe that success in life mainly depends on hard work and determination while others believe that factors like money and personal appearance are important. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Fully explain your ideas

In modern era, it is easy to sell, buy and work with other people through internet. But others against it. Do you think this is positive trend or negative trend.

Students are becoming more and more reliant on the Internet. While the Internet is convenient, it has many negative effects and its use for educational purposes should be restricted. How far do you agree with this statement?

In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What are your opinion on this?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?