At the present time, the population of some countries include relatively a large number of young adult, compared with the number of older person. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

In
this
century,most countries
has
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have
show examples
a population where teenagers outnumber
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
older
people
and Singapore can be listed as one of the countries. When it comes to
talk
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talking
show examples
about
Add an article
the gap
a gap
show examples
gap
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gaps
show examples
,
generation
Add an article
the generation
show examples
gap is the most prone topic to be discussed. There is
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
pros and cons in every case but
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
more prominently outweigh
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
show examples
in a debate between
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
show examples
and young aged
people
.
First
and foremost is the experience. The older,the better and higher in experience whereas the younger the lesser will be and it can be judged without
doubts
Fix the agreement mistake
doubt
show examples
in treating patients.
Secondly
,the workflow in every industry will gain more profits when a company runs a business with old aged employees who are rich in knowledge,
experience
Correct word choice
and experience
show examples
. On the other
hands
Fix the agreement mistake
hand
show examples
,it has been a problem in giving priority and opportunity to young aged
people
such
as in Myanmar where
country
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the country
a country
show examples
is
at
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on
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the verge of collapse and the main reason
of
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for
show examples
happening is
Add an article
a leader
the leader
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leader
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leaders
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who never
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favors
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favor
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favour
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chances to
educated
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educate
show examples
young citizens in the fear of their
self esteem
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self-esteem
show examples
worrying that they are going to take control over them. As a
consequences
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consequence
show examples
,the
country
slowly becomes under the title of under developing
countries
Fix the agreement mistake
country
show examples
. In a nutshell,one way of thinking never works and the fact that younger
people
also
have an ability to work and utilize their skills as elderly
people
do. According to my point of view,
young
Add an article
the young
show examples
population should be higher than the
adult’s
Change noun form
adults
show examples
in every
country
to be a better
country
.
Submitted by tunnaungwin11 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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