IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Weddings are getting bigger and more expensive. What is the reason for this? Is it a positive or negative development?

#weddings #reason #development
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These days, marriage ceremonies are becoming avalanche and more costly. The decision to keep up with the Joneses and to be recognised could be the reason. In my opinion, I think it is a negative
development
Use synonyms
. Nowadays,
people
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 are now seeing life as a competition, everyone wants his or her name to be heralded and
also
Linking Words
 to be an everyday subject matter for discourse.
These
Correct pronoun usage
This
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has
Change the verb form
have
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 led to
people
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 competing among themselves which is no longer
verisimilar
Correct article usage
a verisimilar
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 tale in
this
Linking Words
 modern world. With the adoption of the mindset to always keep up with the Joneses, striving to reach the echelon of
a fellow cohorts
Correct the article-noun agreement
a fellow cohort
fellow cohorts
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 has led to the enormous number of weddings and the huge chunk of money attached to it. Weddings
has
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have
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 recently
becomes
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become
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 the game of opulent
people
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. Despite the fact that the huge amount of money attached to it would propel
people
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 to work
more
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apply
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harder and remain
focus
Wrong verb form
focused
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in
Change preposition
on
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 life which is one of its positive
development
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, I believe that the negative
development
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supercedes
Correct your spelling
supersedes
 its positive
development
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. One of the negative
development
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 that might
emanates
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emanate
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 is that there
are
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is
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 tendency for
people
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 to engage in illicit acts and
misdemeanor
Fix the agreement mistake
misdemeanors
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such
Linking Words
 as kidnapping and robbery in order to meet up with the demand as regard to the avalanche of wherewithal required to have a befitting wedding.
This
Linking Words
 will result
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
people
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 living in fear and creating an unfavourable environment.
for example
Linking Words
, In
a
Change the article
an
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 environment where there is incessant kidnapping and robbery,
people
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 tend to seek
for
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apply
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another abode due to fear of being attacked. In conclusion,
people
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 viewing life as a competition by always keeping up to the Joneses has done more harm than good and has resulted
to
Change preposition
in
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 a more negative
development
Use synonyms
 rather than positive.
Submitted by bolanlejudith on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • lavish
  • extravagant
  • nuptials
  • matrimony
  • social status
  • opulence
  • milestone
  • financial leverage
  • debt
  • peer pressure
  • consumerism
  • showcase event
  • ceremonial splendor
  • bridal extravaganza
  • market forces
  • commercialization
  • budgeting
  • social comparison
  • destinal wedding
  • event planning
  • wedding vendors
  • loan
  • prestige
  • economic impact
  • mandatory spending
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