IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#governments #money #railways #roads
In recent years,
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
Correct your spelling
focus
focuses
focused
focuse
Correct your spelling
focused
 on improving
quality
Correct article usage
the quality
show examples
 of life,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 would bring a lot of benefits for citizens
such
 as communication, transportation,
health
Correct word choice
and health
show examples
 care. Some
argument
Replace the word
argue
show examples
 that built railways is more useful for local
people
 than roads. In my opinion, it is a good idea that more
train
 station is built. There are some reasons.
First
 of all, it reduced
pollution
 when more
people
 give up driving to work
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
weekday
Fix the agreement mistake
weekdays
show examples
.
Correct your spelling
Nowadays
show examples
Nowaday
Correct your spelling
Nowadays
show examples
,
people
 spend a lot of time on the
road
in
Change preposition
during
show examples
 rush hours. At the same time, emissions of
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
 bring
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
pollution
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 our environment.
People
 easily get upset, if they got into
traffic
Add an article
a traffic
show examples
 jam for
Correct article usage
a longtime
show examples
longtime
Correct your spelling
long time
show examples
.
Reaserch
Correct your spelling
Research
 has shown that it
is get
Change the verb form
is getting
show examples
 more
pollution
 if ear that
car
 stopped on the
road
 without cutting power. Trainstation is a good way to make easy that
train
 never could get into congestion and
train
 is a public transport which is more helpful to reduce air
pollution
.
Secondly
, it solved congestion on the
road
 while many
people
 commute by
train
, nearly years, a number
od
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
car
 is growing. So a question that a number of
Add an article
the car
show examples
car
Change to a plural noun
cars
show examples
 is over volumed of
road
Add an article
the road
show examples
 is following.
This
 caused traffic
jam
Fix the agreement mistake
jams
show examples
 have
being
Wrong verb form
be
show examples
harrible
Correct your spelling
horrible
 problem.
However
, the
train
 will take more
people
 to go to their destinations without waiting on
road
Correct article usage
the road
show examples
in
Change preposition
during
show examples
 rush hour. It is kore convience for citizen. 
Finally
, taking public transport is cheaper than privatcal
vichele
Correct your spelling
Michele
.
People
 could save money to do others they
interested
Add a missing verb
are interested
show examples
.
Change preposition
in.
show examples
 Overall, government pay more money for building
railway
Add an article
the railway
a railway
show examples
. It
bring
Change the verb form
brings
show examples
 more it is a good decision that advantages than drawbacks.
Submitted by ahmedshahriar448 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Carbon emissions
  • Mass transportation
  • Traffic congestion
  • Economic growth
  • Regional development
  • Initial investment
  • Feasibility
  • Flexibility
  • Rural areas
  • Integration
  • Sustainable
  • Efficiency
  • Infrastructure
  • Commuters
  • Public expenditure
  • Autonomous vehicles
  • Long-term investment
  • Accessibility
  • Connectivity
  • Modal shift
What to do next:
Look at other essays: