IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In the past, many people had skills such as making their own clothes and doing repairs to things in the house. In many countries, nowadays, skills like these are disappearing. Why do you think this change is happening? How far is this situation true in your country?

#people #skills #clothes #repairs #house #countries #change #situation #country
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As everyone
know
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knows
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, technology is used to keep up with the ever-changing
in
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apply
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industry.
Conversely
Linking Words
, nowadays making their own
clothes
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 and doing repairs to
things
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 in the
house
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 skill are disappearing by the
people
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. There are some points of view
as
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apply
show examples
below.
First
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 of all,
people
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is
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are
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easily
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easy
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 to accessible for the
clothes
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 in the shop. Fashion
shop
Fix the agreement mistake
shops
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 are
in
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apply
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everywhere, it is not difficult to purchase
the
Correct article usage
apply
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clothes
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 in somewhere. H&M,
Zara
Correct word choice
and Zara
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 those brand price is affordable for every
people
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, even for adolescent, shopping is one of their entrainments.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
according
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toaccording
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this
Linking Words
 point making own
clothes
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 is not important
by
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to
show examples
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
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Correct your spelling
mindset
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mind set
Correct your spelling
mindset
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.
Furthermore
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, the
processing
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process
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 of making
clothes
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is complicate
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is complicated
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, because all the
people
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is
Change the verb form
are
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 busy, not plenty of time to do that.
In addition
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, not only for making their own
clothes
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 is disappearing, but
also
Linking Words
 doing repairs to
things
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 in the
house
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 skills are disappearing. Personally, Father usually
role
Add an article
a role
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for
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of
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 master of
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house
Add an article
a house
the house
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 who repair a lot of the
house
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things
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as
change
Wrong verb form
changing
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 the light bulb,
use
Wrong verb form
using
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electric
Add an article
an electric
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 drill to get a hole
Add the particle
to hang
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hang
Wrong verb form
hanging
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 up the shelf etc...
However
Linking Words
, recently Father’s no extra time because they are busy
of
Change preposition
with
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 work every day. Much more the family can hire the workers to come home to repair easily and cheaper,
then
Linking Words
 they no need to do repair by themselves.
To
Change preposition
In
show examples
 conclusion, disappear making their own
clothes
Use synonyms
 point is
people
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
easily
Replace the adverb
easy
show examples
 to accessible for the
clothes
Use synonyms
 in the shop. And doing repairs to
things
Use synonyms
 in the
house
Use synonyms
 is
easily
Replace the word
easy
show examples
 to find workers.
Submitted by miutham on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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