IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019.

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019.
#show #changes #ownership #appliances #amount #time #housework #households #country
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The line graphs give information about owning household devices and the period of the house working in a country between 1920 and 2019. The data are presented in percentages and the number of
hours
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly seen that the percentages of the number of electrical appliances owned by
families
Use synonyms
, had continually
increasing
Change the verb form
increased
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 the
hours
Use synonyms
 of houseworkers obviously diminished. Looking at the first chart, the vacuum cleaner
using
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
 was 30
percentages
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
 and forty out of
hundred
Correct article usage
a hundred
show examples
families
Use synonyms
 owned
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
washing machines in 1920
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
the refrigerators were the rare appliances at that time. Just after twenty years, almost half of
Add an article
the household
show examples
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
show examples
 had three types of electrical divides in their home. After six decades, all
families
Use synonyms
 owned their washing
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
 and vacuum cleaner items
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
certainly rose from 1920 and remain stable until 2019.
Moreover
Linking Words
, people
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
bought refrigerators approximately 70% which slowly but sustainably increased in 2019. Moving on to the
second
Linking Words
 chart, with the increasing number of electric appliances owned by
families
Use synonyms
, their demand for doing household work
for example
Linking Words
, cleaning, washing clothes and preparing meals decreased
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 50
hours
Use synonyms
 working a week in 1920.
Finally
Linking Words
, it gradually dropped to only above 10
hours
Use synonyms
 per week.
Submitted by fai6436 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words hours, families with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • electrical appliances
  • housework
  • time frame
  • variables
  • trends
  • significant milestones
  • turning points
  • correlation
  • reduction
  • influenced
  • societal implications
  • quality of life
  • gender roles
  • economic implications
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