You recently receive a letter from a friend asking for advice about whether to go to college or to try a get a job. You think she/he should get a job. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter -Say why he/she would not enjoy going to college -explain why getting a job is a good idea for him/her -suggest types of job that would be suitable for him/her

#friend #advice #college #get #job #-say #-explain #idea #-suggest

Dear Zoe, It was great to receive your letter and I am delighted to tell you my advice on what you should do in

this

letter. As far as I am concerned, I think you should try to get a job.

To begin

with,

although

I know that you wanted to go to college, I believe that it will not be a good option for you since you have to support back to your family and you will have difficulties

to meet

Change the verb form

meeting

show examples

both your courses fees and your family’s basic need.

Consequently

, you will not have enough time to study and later on you will be boring to go to college. As per the above reasons and circumstances that you have, it is the best way for you to try to get a job. As you can make income to support your family and get work experience.

Moreover

, if you are still keen on learning

then

you can join some part-time courses that will not be expensive like full-time courses.

Therefore

, I suggest you

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

try to get a job and I think

Correct article usage

the sale

show examples

sale

Fix the agreement mistake

sales

show examples

role is really suitable for you since you are

conversationalist

Correct article usage

a conversationalist

show examples

. I believe that customers will be persuaded by your communication skills. I hope you will be glad for my advice and to have the right decision for your life. Warm Regards Sandar Myint

Submitted by sandarmyint740 on Sun Jul 24 2022

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

227 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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