Subjects like arts, music and drama are more important than other school subjects and therefore should be given more time in the calendar. Do you agree or disagree?

#subjects #arts #music #drama #school #time #calendar

Nowadays, the role of art

lessons

in the educational system has been altered to be more beneficial than other

courses

. Yet, there remains a contentious debate as to whether the time of these cognitive processes should be increased or not. I partially disagree with

this

topic and will support my perspective with more details and practical examples.

Firstly

, these types of learning

lessons

can help the pupils to establish a better intellectual connection with the real world.

This

is an indisputable fact that art

lessons

are able to provoke the mind to be more productive and help the youngster to flourish his or her potential faster;

also

, it can be more entertaining for them to express their true emotions using art as an effective element, which can lead to higher improvements

as well as

more motivation to live. One particularly salient example is music

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

can help individuals

Verb problem

apply

show examples

present their instinctive emotions with non-verbal communication that can be a significant factor for them to show their skill and talent with no limitation.

Consequently

, these types of

courses

entail higher efficiency in the educational system leading to more attraction to the learning procedures.

On the other hand

, these majors are not practical enough for the development of society. These

courses

are potent alternatives in helping

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

personal improvements;

nonetheless

, their effectiveness for the

promotions

Fix the agreement mistake

promotion

show examples

of the city is not considerable, which makes them useless processes to be utilised for improving the appearance of nations.

For instance

, math and

physic

Fix the agreement mistake

physics

show examples

are more effective

lessons

to be used in the scientific developments and conceptual improvements of society.

In addition

, more practical

courses

must be concentrated on to help people

Verb problem

apply

show examples

make life more appropriate; can reach higher efficiency in their daily

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

. As a way of conclusion, I once again reaffirm that the role of artistic

courses

is important ,but they are not practical enough to be an absolutely vital part of our life;

thus

, it is highly recommended to adjust more time for

lessens

Correct your spelling

lessons

show examples

such

as mathematics or chemistry to guide the mankind in reaching more scientific achievements.

Submitted by mortaza.ghamari on Mon Jul 25 2022

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coherence cohesion

The essay demonstrates a clear structure and progression of ideas, maintaining a consistent flow throughout the essay. However, the introduction and conclusion could be more comprehensive.

task achievement

The response addresses the prompt and presents clear, relevant arguments. However, the response could be more focused, and specific examples could be more effectively utilized to support the main points.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

346 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Subjects like arts, music and drama are more important than other school subjects and therefore should be given more time in the calendar. Do you agree or disagree?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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