Subjects like arts, music and drama are more important than other school subjects and therefore should be given more time in the calendar. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, the role of art
lessons
in the educational system has been altered to be more beneficial than other
courses
. Yet, there remains a contentious debate as to whether the time of these cognitive processes should be increased or not. I partially disagree with
this
topic and will support my perspective with more details and practical examples.
Firstly
, these types of learning
lessons
can help the pupils to establish a better intellectual connection with the real world.
This
is an indisputable fact that art
lessons
are able to provoke the mind to be more productive and help the youngster to flourish his or her potential faster;
also
, it can be more entertaining for them to express their true emotions using art as an effective element, which can lead to higher improvements
as well as
more motivation to live. One particularly salient example is music
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
can help individuals
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
present their instinctive emotions with non-verbal communication that can be a significant factor for them to show their skill and talent with no limitation.
Consequently
, these types of
courses
entail higher efficiency in the educational system leading to more attraction to the learning procedures.
On the other hand
, these majors are not practical enough for the development of society. These
courses
are potent alternatives in helping
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
personal improvements;
nonetheless
, their effectiveness for the
promotions
Fix the agreement mistake
promotion
show examples
of the city is not considerable, which makes them useless processes to be utilised for improving the appearance of nations.
For instance
, math and
physic
Fix the agreement mistake
physics
show examples
are more effective
lessons
to be used in the scientific developments and conceptual improvements of society.
In addition
, more practical
courses
must be concentrated on to help people
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
make life more appropriate; can reach higher efficiency in their daily
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. As a way of conclusion, I once again reaffirm that the role of artistic
courses
is important ,but they are not practical enough to be an absolutely vital part of our life;
thus
, it is highly recommended to adjust more time for
lessens
Correct your spelling
lessons
show examples
such
as mathematics or chemistry to guide the mankind in reaching more scientific achievements.
Submitted by mortaza.ghamari on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates a clear structure and progression of ideas, maintaining a consistent flow throughout the essay. However, the introduction and conclusion could be more comprehensive.
task achievement
The response addresses the prompt and presents clear, relevant arguments. However, the response could be more focused, and specific examples could be more effectively utilized to support the main points.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: