There is a big influence of peer groups on children’s behavior. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

As individuals are growing, interaction with other
people
becomes necessary to bound the society and find out their place
in particular
areas.
However
, in the initial stages of
life
,
people
tend to spend their time with peers , which affects their manner of behaviour. In
this
,
Add an article
an
the
show examples
essay I will explain the benefits and drawbacks of
this
kind of interaction. On the one hand, since
people
start their school
life
, they starting to become more socialized by making new friends.
This
aim
for
Add a missing verb
is for
show examples
young to be more competitive and confident about not only their academic tasks and challenges
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
their communication skills. Groups consisting of
people
of the same generation who might have more common habits,
such
as learning and entertainment in the way convenient for them.
On the other hand
, parents should not underestimate the dangers which might occur even among
children
of the same age. Generally,
children
in a particular age range, are less sensitive and do not estimate the value of empathy to others, which is usually the cause of bullying
people
, which are less confident or interactive.
This
might cause emotional damage to individuals for a long period of
life
, who suffered from their earlier ages. For
this
case, elders should monitor the environment of their
children
, in which they are growing and choose a better society, in which peers their
children
can develop. In conclusion, it is crucial to be influenced by
people
of the same age for a particular period of
life
for a better understanding of social and academic trends on time.
However
, in order to thrive in a better direction,
people
should choose the right community of peers.
Submitted by khadija.agazade on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: