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Writing Samples
Band 6

There is a big influence of peer groups on children’s behavior. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#influence #peer #groups #children’s #behavior
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As individuals are growing, interaction with other
people
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 becomes necessary to bound the society and find out their place
in particular
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 areas.
However
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, in the initial stages of
life
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,
people
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 tend to spend their time with peers , which affects their manner of behaviour. In
this
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 ,
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an
the
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essay I will explain the benefits and drawbacks of
this
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 kind of interaction. On the one hand, since
people
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 start their school
life
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, they starting to become more socialized by making new friends.
This
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 aim
for
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is for
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 young to be more competitive and confident about not only their academic tasks and challenges
,
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apply
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 but
also
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 their communication skills. Groups consisting of
people
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 of the same generation who might have more common habits,
such
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 as learning and entertainment in the way convenient for them.
On the other hand
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, parents should not underestimate the dangers which might occur even among
children
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 of the same age. Generally,
children
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 in a particular age range, are less sensitive and do not estimate the value of empathy to others, which is usually the cause of bullying
people
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, which are less confident or interactive.
This
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 might cause emotional damage to individuals for a long period of
life
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, who suffered from their earlier ages. For
this
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 case, elders should monitor the environment of their
children
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, in which they are growing and choose a better society, in which peers their
children
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 can develop. In conclusion, it is crucial to be influenced by
people
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 of the same age for a particular period of
life
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 for a better understanding of social and academic trends on time.
However
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, in order to thrive in a better direction,
people
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 should choose the right community of peers.
Submitted by khadija.agazade on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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