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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #crime #prison #sentences #alternative
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In our contemporary world,
crime
Use synonyms
 levels play a key role in the way
people
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 lead their lives. With regard to
this
Linking Words
, two opposing views have been suggested, one of which is related to (+noun / noun phrase) extending the
time
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 spent in
prison
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, while the other is about (noun / noun phrase) coming up with different solutions. From my perspective, criminals should be treated with diverse methods rather than being kept in
prison
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 for a longer
time
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. According to (the perspective) of some, offenders should be sentenced to a longer period in
prison
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, since they might believe that it may be a deterrent not to commit a
crime
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 again. Yet, I am not on the same page as these
people
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. To my way of thinking, keeping inmates behind bars for a longer
time
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 will not create the expected results,
on the contrary
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, it might even make them more furious against the world. Criminal
behavior
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behaviour
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 is a type of instinct from where I stand, and no
prison
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time
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 can dissuade an offender from his misdeeds. For some other
people
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,
however
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, / As far
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
others are concerned,
however
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, it might be more useful to find alternative ways to decrease the level of
crime
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. The rationale behind their thought might be to treat the criminal
behavior
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behaviour
show examples
instead
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 of trying to
inhibit
Correct your spelling
inhabit
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 it. I
also
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 support
this
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 point of view and believe that the greatest motives
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 committing a
crime
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 are lack of education and a disturbed personality. Provided that these offenders are approached with a proper attitude, these problems might be better dealt with.
In other words
Linking Words
, both education and psychological support should be considered and granted
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 these
people
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 so that they can have
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
insight
of
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into
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 the possibility of leading a better life away from wrongdoings. All in all, what can be concluded from the afore-mentioned remarks is that
although
Linking Words
 some individuals advocate more
time
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 behind bars, I strongly believe that criminals should be tackled
with
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apply
show examples
via education and psychological counselling
Submitted by mertakin40 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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