Some people think rich countries should help the poor countries by giving money directly. Others believe that there are other more effective forms of international aid. What’s your opinion? Give reasons for tour answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
During
the
tough time, it is controversial whether the wealthy nations should support suffering countries in the form of direct money or other promising approaches. In Correct determiner usage
this
this
essay, the reason why another aid is more effective than financial support before my conclusion is reached.
Although
the budget can be used to buy staff
to alleviate the disastrous impacts of poverty or pandemic, it increases the process of helping as the government of the poor public needs to transform money into food and medicine. Correct your spelling
stuff
Therefore
, it would be better for suffering nations to get assistance in the form of direct food and medicine so that it reduces the process of helping to result in faster help. For example
, Thailand took around 7 days to purchase the vaccine for protecting Covid - 19
by the budget supported by the international organization named WHO, during Correct your spelling
COVID-19
this
period, a hundred people were killed by the contagious virus.
In addition
, another assistance, which is more effective than finance is education and technology. With education support, the nation can develop their children and citizens to specialize in various aspects,
and use the education to improve their countries. Remove the comma
apply
For instance
, In 1908, the Netherlands sent irrigation engineers to distribute the
expertise about water management to Thai engineers and constructed the first damn in Thailand named Jao Phra ya , which is still being used now. Change the word
their
Hence
, knowledge is considered for long-term rescue.
In conclusion, according to
the aforementioned paragraphs, international aid in the form of food, medicine, and ability is much more beneficial than advocating direct money due to
being more efficient and more
sustainable. Correct quantifier usage
apply
Finally
, rich countries should select better aid to help poor ones.Submitted by pantamitsaekong on
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Task Response
Task Response: The response addresses the prompt adequately, presenting arguments for why other forms of aid are more effective but there is room for improvement in structural development and addressing all aspects of the question.
Coherence and Cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The essay demonstrates a reasonable level of coherence and cohesion, however, there are issues with the logical structure and the introduction and conclusion could be more distinct and impactful. It also needs better organization to make the arguments and examples more effectively linked and developed.