IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Young people today have no influence on the important decisions that determine the future of society as a whole. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

#people #influence #decisions #future #society #support
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I disagree with the statement that young
people
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 have no say in important
decisions
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, mainly because there are in fact many ways young
people
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 today can
influence
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 the
decisions
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 that determine the future of
society
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 as a whole: they can arrange massive protests for a cause, they can make petitions which can have a big
impact
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 on
society
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 and they might even
influence
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 their
parents
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 voting decissions. The
first
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 major
way
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 young
people
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 can
impact
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 the future of a
society
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, is arranging massive protests. If there are enough young
people
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 who believe in an idea, they will be able to stage successful protests that will have an
impact
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 on an important decision.
For example
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: French students are known for holding very influential demonstrations which changed the
way
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 they were treated and
this
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 had both an economical and a moral
impact
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 on the entire
society
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 of France. Another great
way
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 young
people
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 can make an
impact
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, is by getting
people
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 to sign petitions. If enough
people
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 sign a petition, the government will not be able to ignore it and will have to comply with it’s terms. A friend of mine believes strongly that genetically modified foods should not be allowed to be imported into Serbia. Because of
this
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, he actually brought a petition to a birthday party which demanded banning the importation of
such
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 foodstuffs in Serbia and all of the
people
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 present there signed it.
On the other hand
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, a young
person
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 could
influence
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 important
decisions
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 through the votes of his
parents
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, if he were still not old enough to vote. If he felt strongly enough about a certain decision, he would get informed about the various aspects of the situation surronding that decission. With
this
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 knowledge, he might be able to convince his
parents
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 into voting the
way
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 he would vote for
such
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 a decision. When it was time to choose a new president for our country, I was still not old enough to vote, but I really cared about
this
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 issue. So I really got informed about the whole situation and managed to convince my
parents
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 into voting for the
person
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 that I thought was best suited for the job of being the president of Serbia. As we look back on the various ways in which a young
person
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 can
influence
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 important
decisions
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 that
impact
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 the future of
society
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 as a whole, we see that there are in fact many ways a young
person
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 can contribute. It is because of
this
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 that I believe young
people
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 should be encouraged to take whatever part they can in order to
influence
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 these major
decisions
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.
Submitted by ilirjana.sheta on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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