IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

It is important for people to take risks both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do u think the advantage of taking risk outweighs the disadvantages.

#people #risks #lives #advantage #risk
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In today’s background,
risks
Use synonyms
 showed it significant role whether
in
Add the comma(s)
,in
show examples
 professional lives or personal lives, some people might think taking
risks
Use synonyms
 was a worse decision. At the same time, there were plenty of public considered it
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
great. Taking
risks
Use synonyms
 has
huge
Change the article
a huge
the huge
show examples
 number of pros.
First
Linking Words
 of all, in certain cases, taking
risks
Use synonyms
 is a shortcut for us to get success.
For example
Linking Words
, if a student who is studying
a
Change preposition
for a
show examples
master
Change noun form
master's
show examples
 degree in the university takes a mission that he could publish two
dessertations
Correct your spelling
dissertations
 on SCI magazines in half of the year, he would be entitled
a
Change preposition
to a
show examples
vice professor.
Otherwise
Linking Words
, he would spend
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
six years to get that title. Meanwhile, taking
risks
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 stimulates a person’s potential, and strengthens people’s capabilities. As the example cited above, normally a scholar should spend
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a year to finish a
dessertation
Correct your spelling
dissertation
 which meets the requirement of SCI, while that student takes the
risk
Use synonyms
/ chance which
urgents
Correct your spelling
urges
 him to complete
this
Linking Words
 impossible mission within six months. Under the pressure of taking
this
Linking Words
risk
Use synonyms
, he gives out all his efforts to study and do experiments, with a fascinating outcome that he gets a great achievement on it and becomes a vice professor successfully. In his success, taking
risks
Use synonyms
 takes a significant role. Everything has two sides, and there are some cons
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 taking a
risk
Use synonyms
. The failure from taking
risk
Use synonyms
 usually fight you down deadly and make you lose initial positive
believes
Replace the word
beliefs
show examples
. Specifically, a merchant bravely invested
a
Change preposition
in a
show examples
risky project with 1.8 million pounds
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and lost about 80% at the end.
Thus
Linking Words
, he does not have any money to fight back. Taking
risks
Use synonyms
 influences a lot not only on a person, but the people around and surroundings, like a businessman who puts his partly three-fourths fortune into bets in various
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
, ultimately,
left
Wrong verb form
leaving
show examples
 nothing. So taking
risks
Use synonyms
 is not that advantage as well. In general, considering the advantages overweight the disadvantages,
such
Linking Words
 as a poor businessman after a financial crisis, he carried on his way to take
risks
Use synonyms
 insistently, outcome,he became a great successful billionaire.So having enough courage to face whether in professional or personal
lives’
Correct your spelling
lives risks
risks
Use synonyms
 are truly
value
Replace the word
valuable
show examples
 for humanities.
Submitted by chenyuling430 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: