IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Government should close companies that produce toxic waste materials without their own waste treatments facility in order to protect the environment. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Toxic materials affect our world in a negative way. There were allegations from the government to shut down businesses in order to reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
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environmental
damages
Fix the agreement mistake
damage
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.
This
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 essay will articulate the key factors that affect the environment, and I will clarify my position.
There
Use the right word
The
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 main reason why climate change is getting worse
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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Is
Fix capitalization
is
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 because of the toxic materials. Every year
a
Punctuation problem
, a
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variety of products
get
Verb problem
are
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 published on the market.
For instance
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, let's suppose a company released a new product with features that aren't friendly with the environment,
thus
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It
Fix capitalization
it
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 might damage the oxygen, so
that is
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 a harmful material that shouldn't
get
Verb problem
be
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 published. Citizens won't have a healthy life with these harmful factors. Ultimately,
companies
Use synonyms
 must reduce
the
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 toxic production. Another key factor is that business owners are careless about the harm they might cause.
Therefore
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, they continue to work on creating more toxic products. The authority should take action and tax
companies
Use synonyms
 to avoid the potential damage.
Moreover
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, forcing taxes on business owners can reduce a significant amount of production.
For example
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, if the government forced high taxes
to
Change preposition
on
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Use synonyms
companies
Punctuation problem
companies,
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 they
will
Wrong verb form
would
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 stop producing materials that are harmful
for
Change preposition
to
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 the world. In the long run, they will be able to protect the environment if we
stopped
Wrong verb form
stop
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 production. In conclusion, I believe governments must take action against the
companies
Use synonyms
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 are responsible for the damages. To be more precise,
If
Fix capitalization
if
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 the damages continued to happen, the authority should shut down the
companies
Use synonyms
 because there is no other alternative to prevent
this
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 issue.

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task achievement
Make sure your main ideas are clearly explained and supported with specific examples.
coherence and cohesion
Check your sentences for grammar and punctuation; some places have errors that make it hard to understand.
coherence and cohesion
Use more connecting words to make your ideas flow better. For example, use words like 'firstly', 'next', and 'lastly'.
task achievement
You have a clear view on the issue and state your opinion in the introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
You raise important points about environmental harm caused by companies.
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