Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Since obesity has risen among adults and children, many people have raised their concerns about the high use of

sugar

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As a result

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, some people claim that sugary

products

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should raise their prices in order to reduce consumption.

However

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, I partly disagree with

this

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view as I think education may be more effective.

To begin

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with, the intention of purchasing sweetness may reduce if

sugar

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products

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are more expensive. Since

sugar

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is a fundamental material for many foods and drinks, firms may have to increase their prices in order to maintain profit.

For example

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, the price of each cake may increase by £2 owing to the high cost of raw materials.

Therefore

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, consumers may be less willing to spend their money on sweetness which may lower the chances of getting health problems.

On the other hand

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, educating the public may solve the roots of the issue. As certain citizens may not understand the undesirable effects brought by injecting too much

sugar

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, providing access to correct knowledge may encourage them to change their habits.

For example

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, people may force themselves to consume less

sugar

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once they know that heart attack is related to obesity.

Therefore

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, by giving them the knowledge, the public may choose not to take high-

sugar

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products

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even if they are rich. In conclusion,

although

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raising the price may reduce the intention of buying sugary

products

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, it may not be effective for those who are wealthy.

However

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, educating the citizens may be more beneficial since it can change their habits.

hhhhelen.poonTue Jul 26 2022

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

251 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

health problems
manufactured food and drink products
sugary products
excessive sugar consumption
discourage
promote
healthier choices
reduce
increased taxes
fund
health education
prevention programs

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