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Writing Samples
Band 5

In recent years a large number of highly professionals like doctors, engineers and IT professionals from poorer businesses are leaving their countries for developed countries for better-paying jobs. What are the possible problems of this and what solutions can you suggest to deal with this issue?

#years #professionals #doctors #engineers #businesses #countries #jobs
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Nowadays, it can be seen that a huge number of professionals in some positions,
such
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 as engineers and doctors prefer to leave their nations, which are considered developing countries.
As a consequence
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, some issues have appeared;
however
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, several solutions are suggested to cope with
this
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, which I will consider in
this
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 essay. In terms of problems, developing countries to become developed need their members, especially professionals. There are two main factors that
are shown
Wrong verb form
show
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 why their existence
of
Change preposition
apply
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them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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is essential.
Firstly
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, These people play a vital role for countries and citizens.
For example
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, when these communities have become professional, clearly it is their time to teach beginners and juniors.
Secondly
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, they can bring money to their state. So, they can be the main reason for
economical
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economic
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 growth.
As a result
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, undoubtedly, if they leave their nations, their people face a lack of high-ranking members. Based on observations, some problem-solving methods are well-known, including increasing the average amount of revenue for professionalism.
For instance
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, most individuals to cope with the high price of living and public goods prefer to live in other states
instead
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 of their hometown.
Hence
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, by providing a better value of life they do not need to change their
relevant
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relevance
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 and friends just for money. To summarize, in the contemporary world, transportation by aeroplane is becoming easier than before.
Also
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, finding jobs on websites and applications happened in a short time. So, the governments should prepare better conditions and keep their seniors. In my view, investment in industries can be the best option for becoming developed.
Submitted by neda.momeni.art on

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task response
The essay adequately presents the problems and solutions related to professionals leaving developing countries. However, there is a need for clearer and more comprehensive responses to the task prompt. Provide more specific examples and elaborate on ideas to fully address the task questions.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is somewhat effective, but could be improved by organizing the ideas more cohesively. The introduction and conclusion need to be stronger and more evident. Ensure that each paragraph flows logically from the preceding one to aid coherence and cohesion.
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