In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of advertisements that try to persuade children to buy snacks, toys, and other goods. Parents often claim that these ads are unfair. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#countries #advertisements #children #snacks #toys #goods #parents #ads

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In the modern era, marketing is playing a vital role in selling a new

product

or doing advertisements.

Children

are getting attracted to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

fancy

product

and influenced to purchase goods.

However

, their parents are thinking that bad impact on kids’ minds. I will discuss both sides of

this

in a paragraph with relevant examples

also

Correct word choice

and also

show examples

will give my opinion.

To begin

with, social advertising is catching younger ones to buy an online or offline

product

through publicity.

This

helps to divert

children

or young people's minds to try the good and attractive

product

Fix the agreement mistake

products

show examples

Likewise

, TV and the internet are the most popular in society.

For example

, New smartphone advertising goes through online with different fetcher so

children

get more addict to buying new goods or things.

Moreover

, network marketing is helping the organisation to increase sales by more

then

Replace the word

than

show examples

double because

this

, advertising is reaching every human and society to purchase things.

On the contrary

children

are getting more addicted to buying new things.

Likewise

, bad impact happening on their health and mind because these parents are against advertisements.

For instance

, nowadays, restaurants are serving burgers, pizza and many other products which are not good for

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

health. That

product

makes

children

unhealthy and after a few ,years they suffer from big diseases. So, the public thinks nutrition

product

advertisements are less in the newspaper but in nutrition is too much on that.

Thus

, the community should take care to do those products advertisement online which diet is good for offspring. In conclusion, after discussing both views, I favour stopping that ad which is not good

children

Change preposition

for children

show examples

.so I am urging that company should do that advertise which keep healthy and with a minimum count of news.

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

286 words

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In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of advertisements that try to persuade children to buy snacks, toys, and other goods. Parents often claim that these ads are unfair. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Production of carbon dioxide and other greenhouse gases has a heating effect on the atmosphere and results in global warming. Why global warming is considered one of the most serious issues nowadays? How can this problem be solved?

Some business observe that new employees who just graduated from a college or university seem to lack interpersonal skills needed for communication with their colleagues. What could be the reason for this? What solution can help address this problem?

Topic: The most important aim of science should improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree the statement?

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than ot work for acompany or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?