It is nowadays seen that many students are part-time employed. Discuss advantages and disadvantages

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Nowadays, it is often seen in poor families that many pupils need to take a part-time job while they attend school. The reason for

this

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situation is to help their families financial or maybe they want to find their own experiences, but it

also

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causes less concentration on their studies.

This

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essay will discuss

both

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advantages and disadvantages based on my personal opinion which can be given below.

First

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of all, one of the

first

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benefits of

this

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situation is that school

students

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can give financial support to their families by taking extra time to be employed.

This

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would mean that the student should manage

both

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time

Change to a plural noun

times

show examples

for education and the job as well. Another benefit would be they might have a lot of experiences from an early age.

For example

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, one of my friends going a teenage daughter who works nearby a supermarket in the evening, she shares one-

third

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expanse with her family and reduces her father's burden.

in addition

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, she

also

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has experience in becoming an employee at an early age.

On the other hand

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, there are

also

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drawbacks for

students

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To begin

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with,

this

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would make

students

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control their time in

both

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studying and working.

This

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would mean that it would affect their studying performance because of the pressure coming from the workplace.

This

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pressure can influence them emotionally, physically, and psychological of

students

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For instance

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, one of my mates from the school who takes a part-time job is having problems getting low marks in class because of the pressure coming from his boss.

This

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would make him can not concentrate on his studies properly. To sum up, despite the advantages, there are

also

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negative sides that should be concerned and it is important to keep balance in

both

Use synonyms

studying and working.

Submitted by hendonhp27 on Wed Jul 27 2022

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9
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

295 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

tuition fees
educational institutions
higher education
social classes
free higher education
student loans
scholarships
funding models
financial burden
publicly funded
privately funded
online education
MOOCs (Massive Open Online Courses)
investing in education
economy
individual livelihood
commercializing
academic integrity

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