Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development

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Due to the rapid development of advanced technology, teenagers seem to be easily indulged in smart gadgets. In my opinion, peer pressure may be the major reason why people are spending a lot of time on their smartphones,

this

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problem may result in negative development.

To begin

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with, youngsters may visit social media sites in order to earn respect from others. Since children’s cognitive developments are immune, they may not have a firm value toward many issues. In

this

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way, it may be easier for teenagers to be accepted by others if they follow others’ behaviours or have certain common topics with their classmates.

Therefore

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, visiting social media sites regularly may allow them to receive the lasted information, which may hopefully prevent them from being isolated by their peers.

However

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, spending lots of time on smart gadgets can bring certain undesirable effects.

Firstly

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, physical health can be threatened once children pay too much attention to their phones.

For example

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, young adults may be indulged in video games and have no interest in doing sports.

As a result

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, the lack of exercise may lower their body strengths which may increase the risk of getting sick.

Moreover

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, the ability to communicate may be impeded once children are used to chatting online

instead

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of having face-to-face interactions.

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may reduce their sense of belonging. In conclusion, the young generation may spend hours on their phone as they want to be accepted by their peers,

this

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may be detrimental to their health and communication skills.

Submitted by hhhhelen.poon on Wed Jul 27 2022

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
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to illustrate
take, for example

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9
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

251 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

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Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Modern lifestyles are completely different from the way people lived in the past. Some people think the changes have been very positive, while others believe they have been negative. Discuss both these points of view and give your own opinion.

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In many countries, students take a year off finishing school should students take a gap year before attending university? What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

Some people claim that not enough of the waste from home is recycled. They say that the only way to increase recycling is for governments to make it a legal requirement. To what extent do you think laws are needed to make people recycle more of their waste?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?