Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is said that
people
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
different ages and from different cultures can be gathered well by the
music
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, while it is true that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
music
Use synonyms
is a way to make
people
Use synonyms
together, it cannot be regarded as a good way as it will not always gather
people
Use synonyms
well
sometimes
Correct word choice
and sometimes
show examples
badly.
To begin
Linking Words
with, it seems to me that there are three main reasons that
music
Use synonyms
can bring
people
Use synonyms
together.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
music
Use synonyms
is one of
ways
Add an article
the ways
show examples
which can be used for simple conversation.
Secondly
Linking Words
, in most
cases
Add a comma
,cases
show examples
people
Use synonyms
will feel happy when they hear
music
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
so that they become willing to talk with others or near someone.
For example
Linking Words
, it is around the vivid
music
Use synonyms
that I and my girlfriend fell in love with each other.
Finally
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
music
Use synonyms
is a kind of art, so
people
Use synonyms
always want to discuss it with others when
Wrong verb form
appreciate
show examples
appreciating
Correct pronoun usage
itappreciating
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
music
Use synonyms
will not always improve
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
show examples
influence,
sometime
Replace the word
some time
show examples
will lead to the happening of terrible things. Some
music
Use synonyms
will
also
Linking Words
inspire the fighting
eager
Replace the word
eagerness
show examples
of someone or cause their unconscious to
scare
Add a missing verb
be scare
show examples
, which
finally
Linking Words
may make them commit crimes.
For instance
Linking Words
, soldiers will become extremely brave when hearing the battle cry.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, why those bars or
night
Fix the agreement mistake
nights
show examples
club are the area in which fighting
incident
Fix the agreement mistake
incidents
show examples
are most likely to take place. We all
known
Change the form of the verb
know
show examples
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
alcohol is blamed for it, but according to my
knowledge
Add a comma
,knowledge
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
music
Use synonyms
is another important factor. In conclusion, I insist that
music
Use synonyms
not only can gather
people
Use synonyms
but
also
Linking Words
promote those who have resentment
with
Change preposition
toward
show examples
each other to fight.
Submitted by leouzhe on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • evoke
  • connect
  • diverse audiences
  • cultural exchange
  • generational gaps
  • shared experiences
  • unifying force
What to do next:
Look at other essays: