Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admissions outweigh the disadvantages?

When
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
around the world you will realize every
museum
has its own policy, some of them have a discount for students and get charged for older people.
However
, there are pros and cons to deciding
this
. But, in
this
essay, I will outline how preservation has benefits for reservation
museums
and keeps the showroom interest for tourism.
To begin
, keeping the exact fee for entrance to the
museums
from children until older ages is a must because the maintenance of the old
museum
needs upgrading.
Hence
, as the years pass many things in the
museums
change
as well as
art pieces. In order to keep it, we need to hire qualified people for it.
For example
, if you enter the
museum
you will get charged of course, that money will be donated to the construction of the
museum
.
On the other hand
, guaranteeing a discount for entrance to the
museum
will interest other people, especially for tourism.
For instance
, the exhibition has a beautiful showroom, which has a beautifully decorated and aesthetic picture of paint.
That is
actually worth it with the money that you paid off.
Furthermore
, for tourism, it is essential they feel art and culture from other countries and have deep knowledge about how to perpetuate our history. In conclusion, as a young generation, I believe every policy that has been decided by the manager or staff
museums
is the best way to conserve the story from charge to the construction and the gorgeous of the
museums
.
Submitted by waauliya011 on

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task achievement
Your introduction requires a clearer thesis statement that directly addresses the question of whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of museums charging for admission. The conclusion also needs to reflect back on this thesis and summarize the arguments presented effectively.
coherence cohesion
The logical flow of your essay is somewhat disrupted by abrupt transitions between ideas. Aim for smoother connections between paragraphs and within paragraphs to enhance readability.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents main points that are somewhat supported by examples, but these examples lack specificity and depth. Consider providing more detailed illustrations to substantiate your arguments.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural heritage
  • Preservation
  • Exclusionary
  • Revenue
  • Artifact
  • Maintenance
  • Engagement
  • Admission fee
  • Cultural enrichment
  • Sustainable funding
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