Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admissions outweigh the disadvantages?

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When

traveling

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travelling

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around the world you will realize every

museum

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has its own policy, some of them have a discount for students and get charged for older people.

However

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, there are pros and cons to deciding

this

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. But, in

this

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essay, I will outline how preservation has benefits for reservation

museums

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and keeps the showroom interest for tourism.

To begin

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, keeping the exact fee for entrance to the

museums

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from children until older ages is a must because the maintenance of the old

museum

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needs upgrading.

Hence

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, as the years pass many things in the

museums

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change

as well as

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art pieces. In order to keep it, we need to hire qualified people for it.

For example

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, if you enter the

museum

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you will get charged of course, that money will be donated to the construction of the

museum

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On the other hand

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, guaranteeing a discount for entrance to the

museum

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will interest other people, especially for tourism.

For instance

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, the exhibition has a beautiful showroom, which has a beautifully decorated and aesthetic picture of paint.

That is

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actually worth it with the money that you paid off.

Furthermore

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, for tourism, it is essential they feel art and culture from other countries and have deep knowledge about how to perpetuate our history. In conclusion, as a young generation, I believe every policy that has been decided by the manager or staff

museums

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is the best way to conserve the story from charge to the construction and the gorgeous of the

museums

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waauliya011Thu Nov 23 2023

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task achievement

Your introduction requires a clearer thesis statement that directly addresses the question of whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of museums charging for admission. The conclusion also needs to reflect back on this thesis and summarize the arguments presented effectively.

coherence cohesion

The logical flow of your essay is somewhat disrupted by abrupt transitions between ideas. Aim for smoother connections between paragraphs and within paragraphs to enhance readability.

coherence cohesion

The essay presents main points that are somewhat supported by examples, but these examples lack specificity and depth. Consider providing more detailed illustrations to substantiate your arguments.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

251 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Cultural heritage
Preservation
Exclusionary
Revenue
Artifact
Maintenance
Engagement
Admission fee
Cultural enrichment
Sustainable funding

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Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admissions outweigh the disadvantages?

In the last few decades, there have been more and more cases of famous people being hounded by the press. Some people think that famous people in the media should have no right to privacy. To what extent do you agree?

Some people think that the only way to improve the safety of our roads is to giving much stricter punishments for driving offenses. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Tourism contributes significant amount of income to many countries. Discuss the advantages and the disadvantages of this

There are many reasons that can motivate a person to stay working for the same company. Some believe that money is the main reason. Do you agree or disagree?

What invention in the last 30 years has made the most difference in the lives of people? Explain why it has had such a noteworthy effect. Use specific reasons and examples to support your choice.