Motor vehicle crashes are one of the leading cause of teen deaths. To prevent such road accidents, the government should ban people under 24 to drive motor cycles. To what extent do you agree or degree?

In the modern world, large amounts of teenagers are getting into fatal motorcycle crashes with the numbers increasing rapidly.
While
many argue, that
this
problem can be easily solved by creating a new law that would prohibit anyone under 24
to be
Change preposition
from being
show examples
able to drive a motorcycle, I personally believe that with the right precautions, there would be no need to go into
such
lenghts
Correct your spelling
lengths
length
. Teenagers should be properly educated on the
safety
and regulations when operating motor vehicles
such
as cars and motorcycles. To illustrate, in my home country, a person is able to obtain a driver's licence as soon as they turn 17 and pass a test after undergoing a year-long theory course
along with
practical driving lessons.
Additionally
,
while
being taught how to drive without breaking any rules, you are taught the basic
safety
measures and have to attend first-aid lessons to be able to provide medical attention in the case of an accident or an emergency on the road.
Therefore
, by the time you are able to drive a vehicle on your own, you have
recieved
Correct your spelling
received
all the necessary information and guidance needed to ensure your
safety
and the
safety
of others.
While
there will always be
accidents
happening daily, I believe that
this
new law could
consequently
cause more harm than good.
Moreover
, I strongly disagree with the idea of teens not being able to operate vehicles until the age of 24, as
this
makes them prone to breaking the rules and potentially causing fatal
accidents
. A good example of
this
would be people illegally driving cars and endangering pedestrians and others, only because they are not familiar with the
safety
regulations and laws.
As a result
, by denying them
education
Add an article
the education
show examples
needed in order to behave safely on roads,
accidents
such
as car crashes would be seen more often
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
before. In conclusion, I completely disagree with the idea of changing the legal age for driving to 24
due to
it resulting in car
accidents
and fatal injuries rather than solving the problem we are currently dealing with.
On the contrary
, teens should be provided adequate education on how to operate a vehicle safely.
Submitted by Sof on

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task achievement
Your essay provides a clear response to the task and addresses the prompt effectively. However, it could benefit from a more nuanced exploration of counterarguments to enhance the depth of your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that all ideas are fully explained and that there are no gaps in logic. You might want to add transitional sentences to guide the reader through your arguments more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
The examples provided, such as the detailed description of the licensing process in your home country, effectively support your points.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • motor vehicle crashes
  • leading cause
  • teen deaths
  • prevent road accidents
  • ban
  • under 24
  • driving motorcycles
  • extent
  • agree or disagree
  • enhanced safety
  • reduce fatalities
  • roads safer
  • lack of experience
  • maturity
  • risk-taking behaviors
  • alternative transportation
  • public transit systems
  • subsidized ride-sharing
  • economic impact
  • industries
  • motorcycle sales
  • maintenance
  • insurance
  • enforcement challenges
  • practicality
  • law enforcement resources
  • compliance
  • age discrimination
  • targeted interventions
  • driver education programs
  • stricter licensing tests
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