Some people believe that the government should spend more money putting in more works of art like paintings and statues in cities to make them better places to live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In our thriving economic democracy, how to enhance the citizens’ quality of life is a topic of interest.
Therefore
, some people assert that the authorities should take a
more
Correct word choice
larger
show examples
national budget to invest in creating artistic works
such
as street drawings or building sculptures.
Nevertheless
, from my perspective, the discussed scheme does not only cause negative impacts on the governmental capital but it is
also
valueless to the metropolitan. On the one hand, there is no denying that the above planning is fairly detrimental to the country’s allocation. To be more precise, in a multitude of developing countries
such
as Vietnam, Campuchia, and Lao.., there is a wide range of social
nuisance
Fix the agreement mistake
nuisances
show examples
in need of these funds. As an illustration, it
will
Wrong verb form
would
show examples
be much more appropriate to put a national tax on erecting shelters for disadvantaged communities or top up the educational quality.
Moreover
, even though they are hilarious
due to
being settled in ravishing places with a plethora of artistic masterpieces or well-known people statues, they cannot be well-being without a perfect academic background or
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
stable accommodation.
Consequently
, if the official bodies waste a considerable amount of allowance supporting the aforementioned scheme, they will not have enough wherewithal for other essential purposes.
On the other hand
, I quite lean towards the state that a metropolis with a variety of decorations is rather worthless in the residents’ lives.
Furthermore
, despite the fact that once they go out, they are able to be more gripping and delighted if they walk through a stunning terrace with extraordinary artist's impression, they will be easily in a bad mood again when they face up with their own troubles.
In addition
, the urban inhabitants tend to prefer decorating their own houses to spending time in alleys or the city sceneries.
For instance
, a recent survey conducted by Hanoi National University proved that crowds would be on cloud nine if they
have
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
adequate
stuff
Correct your spelling
staff
show examples
regardless of their neighbourhood. In conclusion,
I
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
can be said without exaggeration that politicians should consider upgrading citizens’ lives by enhancing education, and the economy before taking any actions in terms of improving the appearance of the streets.
Additionally
, that would be better for them to tackle these other serious matters in advance.
Submitted by phuongthao.3822 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure that all parts of the question are fully answered and that ideas are clear and relevant to the topic. Support opinions with examples or explanations.
coherence and cohesion
Present ideas in a logical order and provide clear connections between them. Use appropriate linking words to connect ideas and create a smooth flow of information.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: