Some people think that children should be taught to be competitive in school. Others however say that corporation and teamwork in schools are more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

A section of society holds a belief that children need to be adapted
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
Correct your spelling
competitive
Competetive
competetive
Correct your spelling
competitive
surrounding
Fix the agreement mistake
surroundings
show examples
in school.
On the contrary
, some opine that corporation and teamwork are more imperative during learning in schools. In
this
essay,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
will outline
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
both issues, as well as, my point of view regarding
this
matter. On the one hand, school is the
education
Replace the word
educational
show examples
institute in which
students
acquire
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Correct your spelling
valuable
valuble
Correct your spelling
valuable
knowledge.
Therefore
, the authorities must
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
ensure that
students
are mentally and physically stable along their learning process. The community have to reset their low-class mindset, supposing that
competitive
Correct article usage
a competitive
show examples
environment will bring
succeed
Replace the word
success
show examples
to
students
. Parents cannot turn a blind eye to
this
issue as it will cause
major
Correct article usage
a major
show examples
alarming impact
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
Correct your spelling
their
thier
Correct your spelling
their
offspring's
Change noun form
offspring
show examples
.
On the other hand
,
students
must practise themselves to work in a group, as well as not being selfish every single time. It is not only improvising their communication skill
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
will make them realize the crucial of teamwork.
Accordingly
, it might be a bonus for them chiefly when they are trying to get an
ocupation
Correct your spelling
occupation
. Mostly, employers will look at
this
aspect in
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
place in hiring their future employees. In
Correct your spelling
conclusion
conlusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, it is crystal clear that implementing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social skill in children's education is more effective in school, albeit several
society
Change to a plural noun
societies
show examples
believes that
Correct your spelling
competitive
competitve
Correct your spelling
competitive
surrounding might be the best solution for
this
issue. In my opinion, the authorities must take action on
this
matter as soon as possible.
Submitted by hadamajwad on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: