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Students leave high school without learning the way how to manage their money. What are the reasons and solutions for this issue?

#students #school #money
It is true that many students fall into financial crisis within a short time just after they finish
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 education of school. Obviously, schools and
parents
 can take many steps to help their
children
 tackle
this
 issue in advance.
This
 problem mainly
come
Change the verb form
comes
show examples
 from how people educate their
children
. First of all,
educational
Add an article
the educational
show examples
 system is responsible for a lack of related
classed
Replace the word
classes
show examples
 at school, since we can see lots of courses about science and art, but there are hardly any instructions about financial management and time management.
On the other hand
, most
parents
 force their
children
 to focus on their
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
 and lead a lifestyle without considering
money
 problems.
for example
,
parents
 pay the books, phone bills,
as well as
 tuition fees for their kids
instead
 of letting them deal with these affairs on their own. In order to teach these minors how to spend their
money
. Educational institutions and family members should play their
vial
Correct your spelling
vital
show examples
 roles.
Firstly
, schools should add classes about how to manage personal finance,
thus
 students can paint a big picture about how to use their
money
.
Furthermore
,
educational
Add an article
the educational
show examples
 system can provide
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 the opportunities
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 social practice, which can help students learn how to balance their incomes and outcomes.
For instance
, pupils can be involved
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
 selling some spare items and
then
 using the earned
money
 to make a purchase in
shopping
Add an article
a shopping
the shopping
show examples
 mall. When it comes to family,
parents
 should teach kids how to pay their bills in
usual
Correct word choice
normal
show examples
 life by providing pocket
money
,
as a result
,
children
 are able to understand that everything has a cost. In conclusion, it is common that
children
 cannot appreciate the importance of financial management until their teachers or
parents
 manage to tell them. Undoubtedly,
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 and
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
 can take
actions
Fix the agreement mistake
action
show examples
 to handle
this
 issue.
Submitted by alexpan1027 on

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task response
Include a more thorough analysis of the reasons and solutions for the issue of financial management. Provide specific examples and evidence to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph is logically connected and that the ideas flow smoothly from one to the next. Use linking words and phrases to improve coherence and cohesion.

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