IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

People who decide on a career path early in their lives and keep to it are more likely to have a satisfying working life than those who change jobs frequently. To what extent do you agree or disagree?Write 250 words.

#people #career #path #lives #life #change #jobs
It is quite common that people
think
Correct pronoun usage
who think
show examples
 of deciding their
career
path
 early and stick to it
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 more likely to have a satisfying working
life
 than those who frequently change jobs.
However
, I strongly disagree with that because we are now entering the era of
startup
 where changing jobs
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 common and means better pay.
Also
, sticking to
one
career
path
 can make people feel bored and less motivated in
life
. Recently, with the massive growth of
startup
 industries, moving from
one
job
 to another is
very
Add an article
a very
show examples
 common thing to do and as part of
startegies
Correct your spelling
strategies
 to get a better salary.
In
Change preposition
From
show examples
 most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
startup
companies
Change noun form
companies'
company's
show examples
perspective
Fix the agreement mistake
perspectives
show examples
, it doesn't matter anymore what is our background and existing
job
. What matters to them is whether we have the capability to
the
Add a missing verb
do the
show examples
job
.
In addition
, startups compete with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
conventional companies to hire strong talents. Conventional companies usually are seen as a safe option for most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
hence
 startups will always try to offer better benefit leverage to their candidates.
Therefore
, it is getting easier and
also
 common to make a shift in our
career
path
 with better pay through
startup
 industries.
Secondly
, sticking to
one
path
 usually
lead
Change the verb form
leads
show examples
 to less motivation and boredom. It is true that if
one
 wants to be an expert in a particular domain,
one
 should work for
quite
Add an article
a quite
show examples
long
Correct article usage
a long
show examples
 time in that domain.
However
, being an expert
also
 translates to
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 challenges.
For example
, my uncle is a pensioner from a technology company. He always stick to
one
job
 since he had decided
his
Change preposition
on his
show examples
career
path
 right after
graduated
Wrong verb form
graduating
show examples
 from
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
college.
However
,
although
 the
job
 gave him a safe retirement and long-term plan, after 10 to 15 years, he started to feel less motivated to do his
job
 because it was just the same routine every single day.
Correct your spelling
Therefore
Therfore
Correct your spelling
Therefore
,
through
Change preposition
by
show examples
 changing
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 frequently, we could face more challenges and keep ourselves motivated with our work and
life
. To conclude, as we are in the
startup
 era, changing
job
 frequently is a common thing to do and the industries are willing to pay more.
In addition
, moving to
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
 occupation will bring new
experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
show examples
hence
Correct word choice
and hence
show examples
 keep us engaged with work and
life
.
Submitted by miarosmia8 on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • career path
  • job satisfaction
  • professional goals
  • climb the career ladder
  • develop expertise
  • long-term commitment
  • financial security
  • varied experiences
  • prevent monotony
  • job security
  • career progression
  • personal preferences
  • industry dynamics
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