Ordinary people copy famous people whom they see on TV and magazines. Do you think it is a positive development?

TV and magazines play an important role in our daily life. These are meant to provide information and entertainment to their viewers. With their vast reach nowadays they have evolved into our daily

life style

Correct your spelling

lifestyle

show examples

and ordinary

people

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generally tend to follow famous

people

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and celebrities being shown through

this

Linking Words

media. I believe

this

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is largely a negative

development

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. The major negative aspect of

this

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development

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is that

people

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are attracted by and follow the glamorous side of these

people

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, which is portrayed more.

As a

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result

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result,

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ordinary

people

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follow famous personalities based on their looks only and not based on the work they do,

success

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the success

a success

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they have achieved

Correct your spelling

their contribution to society.

For example

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, if their favourite celeb has

6 pack

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6-pack

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abs, they

also

Linking Words

try to achieve

such

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a body, and to do so quickly, they have to consume a lot of unhealthy supplements, which may not be good for them. Some girls even stop eating altogether to get the size zero figure of their role model. What they fail to realise is that these

celebs

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spend hours in the gym

everyday

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every day

show examples

to get that sort of figure. Another negative effect of

this

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development

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is that if these

celebs

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drink or smoke in public, the common

people

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think it is a sort of status symbol and do the same. They

also

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want to achieve

the

Correct article usage

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comfortable lifestyle and costly cars and other

such

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possessions without doing the hard work required to achieve

such

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status.

As a result

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, petty crime incidences are often seen. On the positive side, these

celebs

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sometimes motivate

people

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to do good things and not let any setbacks in their

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

lead them to go into depression. The encouragement given by celebrated

people

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can help them to overcome

such

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situation

Fix the agreement mistake

situations

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to achieve success and help others

also

Linking Words

For example

Linking Words

, a famous Indian celeb Deepika Padukone told

people

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how she fought with her depression in a

youtube

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YouTube

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interview. Many

people

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were really motivated by it and

learnt

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learned

show examples

ways to come out of their depression.

To sum up

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, it is true that

people

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tend to copy famous

people

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who are glamourized by the media. I firmly believe that it is a more negative than a positive

development

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People

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should not follow these

celebs

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blindly. They should be

realjstic

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realistic

and follow only the good things of these

celebs

Use synonyms

abdulbasit667

Jul 28, 2022

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Task Response

Ensure that the response fully addresses all parts of the task. Develop and support the main ideas with relevant, specific examples and explanations.

Coherence and Cohesion

Improve the clarity and organization of ideas. Use a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas together more effectively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

390 words

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Ordinary people copy famous people whom they see on TV and magazines. Do you think it is a positive development?

Foreign visitors should pay more than local visitors for cultural and historical attraction. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

The only way to reduce the amount of traffic in cities today is by reducing the need for people to travel from home for work, education or shopping

Many people are afraid to leave their homes because of the fear of crime. Why do you think people are so fearful these days ?Do the merits of such a cautions approach outweigh the demerits?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Nowadays, children watch a lot of TV and play video games. However, some think these activities are not beneficial for a child's mental health To what extent do you agree or disagree?