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Band 4

Doctors, nurses and teacher make a great contribution to society and should be payed more than entertainment and sport celebrities. Do you agree or disagree?

#doctors #nurses #teacher #contribution #society #entertainment #sport #celebrities
. Well, I believe that the world economy is recovering. After the pandemic period, people
come
Wrong verb form
came
show examples
 back to
work
 and enjoyed their life. They spend money and time on their hobbies
such
 as travelling and visiting their relatives. I have never been to Hawaii. I
love
 to travel around the world, and Hawaii is one of my favourite
destinations
. I like the way Hawaii's people dance and feel appealed by its wonderful
beach
. I want to visit the Plong Nha cave. It is a domestic destination. I plan to visit most of
popular
Add an article
the popular
show examples
 domestic places before travelling to foreign places. To be honest, my
country
 has a
lot
 of beautiful beaches where you can enjoy your vacation. Near my living area, there are Vung Tou
beach
, Binh Theman
beach
, and Nha Trang
beach
. All of them are wonderful. Going
Further
 to the north, there is BD
beach
 which has even warm and fresh water but a
lot
 of cheap and delicious seafood. I have no fraud
this
 summer, I plan to visit Ha Noi
city
Capitalize word
City
show examples
this
 Summer. It is my
country
's capital. There are some historic places
such
 as Uncle to
tomb
Capitalize word
Tomb
show examples
,
Ho
Correct word choice
and Ho
show examples
 Guom
late
Capitalize word
Late
show examples
. I
love
 to spend my vacation travelling around, visiting some relatives, discovering new
destinations
 and enjoying delicious food. Winter? My
country
 is located in a tropical area, and it is not wintering here. Well, on the internet, I saw some beautiful
destinations
 in winter
such
 as Japan or Korea. Well, I
work
 all
time
Correct article usage
the time
show examples
., and have only 13 days off per year. You know, doctors don't have vacations. We
work
 much, do
work
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
 day shift, do
work
 night shift. Of course, I travelled to a
lot
 of
destinations
 from
herth
Change the capitalization
Herth
show examples
 to the south
such
asHoi
Correct your spelling
as Hoi
 An, Vung Tau, and Can Tho city. There are still a
lot
 of beautiful
see-sightings
Correct your spelling
sights
show examples
 in my
country
 . I like to holiday in my hometown. It is peaceful. I am living in a bustling area, working a busy job. I
love
 to go to my hometown in order to breathe the fresh air, listen to birds singing in the morning,
reading
Wrong verb form
and read
show examples
 my favourite books in the afternoon. And In the evening, I
love
 to be with my parents in my
cozy
Change the spelling
cosy
show examples
 kitchen.
Submitted by ntlanh92 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • critical role
  • healthcare professionals
  • societal well-being
  • disparity in income
  • skewed values
  • essential services
  • remuneration
  • mitigate
  • global shortages
  • inherent value
  • nurturing
  • compensation
  • societal contributions
  • profound impact
  • equitable distribution
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