Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or diagree?

There has been a heated debate on whether the increased
sale
of popular consumer goods
depict
Correct subject-verb agreement
depicts
show examples
the actual demand of the society or it is just the good
advertisement
that
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
it happen.
People
have
varied
Add an article
a varied
show examples
opinion
Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
show examples
on the topic.I personally agree with the statement and will explain the basis of my
Correct your spelling
beliefs
beleifs
Correct your spelling
beliefs
in
this
essay. Some
people
would argue that
people
buy the
products
they need more for
household
Add an article
the household
a household
show examples
.
For
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
the purchase of cooking
oil
and bread etc reflect the increased dependency of
people
on these items.
Same
Correct article usage
The same
show examples
is the case with other washing and cleaning items like soaps and washing powder showing the reliance on these
products
.But if we dvel in
this
hypothesis, we would come to know that exponential
sale
of the daily use
products
is not just demand
Change the verb form
does not just demand
show examples
dependent.It has
Correct your spelling
a lot
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
to do with the
advertisement
Replace the word
advertising
show examples
companies presenting the
products
to the masses in
such
a beautiful way that arouses
Add an article
the
a
show examples
desire to buy them at any cost.
For
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
when advertising
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cooking
oil
, the picture of
charming
Add an article
a charming
show examples
young lady using the
oil
for making
delecoius
Correct your spelling
delicious
food is shown to attract the common man into buying it irrespective of the amount of fat content contained in that particular
oil
.Most
people
Correct your spelling
do not
don't
donot
Correct your spelling
do not
read the composition
rather
Correct word choice
but rather
show examples
just buy it because they had seen a very popular
advertisement
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
that product.
Similarly
Add a comma
,Similarly
show examples
the scenes of beautiful models highlighting the reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
their charm
being
Change the form of the verb
is
show examples
the use of specific cream or other beauty
products
gain
attention
Add an article
the attention
show examples
of the
people
who start imagining themselves to be attractive or handsome after using these
products
, which may not happen in reality.
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
show examples
advertisements can even help the
sale
of goods that are injurious to health
For
example
cigerrette
Correct your spelling
cigarette
smoking is shown to be a habit of macho
mans
Correct your spelling
men
show examples
and pictures of the heroic tasks being done by those who smoke make the men
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
falsely
Correct your spelling
believe
beleif
Correct your spelling
believe
belief
it to be helpful in work.
On the
contrary
Add a comma
,contrary
show examples
it causes various diseases including heart disease, lung and mouth cancer etc.Many of the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
items glorified on TV are often required the least for
day to day
Add a hyphen
day-to-day
show examples
living.
For
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
perfumes are not
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
necessary thing for survival but just to impress others as shown in media it becomes
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
important to buy
Add an article
a thing
the thing
show examples
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
. Whereas we hardly see any
advertisement
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
foods like fruits,
vegetebles
Correct your spelling
vegetables
,wheat and rice, so is the case with educational ,religious or cultural
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
.
Finally
what we see on tv or
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
is quite different from what it actually is.
For
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
many times , the clothes my wife bought
Correct your spelling
online
show examples
on line
Correct your spelling
online
show examples
were not of good quality
than
Correct word choice
as
show examples
seen on the screen. In a
nutshell
Add a comma
,nutshell
show examples
the
advertisement
determine
Change the verb form
determines
show examples
the
sale
of popular
products
that may not even be required by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society at large.
Submitted by alishah2294 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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