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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Governments are encouraging industries and businesses to move from large cities to regional areas. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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Nowadays, the encouragement of
industries
Use synonyms
 and businesses to be relocated by the authorities from urban areas to rural areas is being widely witnessed.
Although
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this
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 can increase the workers' daily commuting time and worsen the environment of the outskirts, it would stimulate the economic development of the developing region and curb traffic congestion in the cities. In
this
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 essay, I shall discuss why I believe the positive aspects surpass the negative points. There are numerous advantages associated with
this
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 phenomenon and the prominent one is that it can effectively boost the growth of the economy in the rural area as the relocation of shops and factories can bring workers and customers to the undeveloped area and contribute to the development. Another crucial beneficial factor of the relocation is that it is attributable to curing the various sicknesses of the metropolis caused by overpopulation,
such
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 as traffic congestion and overcrowded public venues.
For example
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, Beijing has been transferring a variety of organizations and
industries
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 to nearby areas to accelerate the establishment of satellite cities. As can be seen, those virtues have a profound impact on the community.
However
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, every coin has two sides. One primary adverse consequence of
this
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 tendency is the increased commuting time for many workers, as the majority of them live in the cities to enjoy a convenient life and better medical resources.
As a result
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, they are apt to spend more time commuting if their workplaces are transferred to the rural area.
Additionally
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, industrial effluent and waste still remain a critical issue and could potentially pose a threat to the regional communities.
For instance
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, a recent survey conducted in Japan revealed that transferring
industries
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 and businesses had gravely exacerbated the environmental conditions of many regions
due to
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 a shortage of relevant facilities for discharges and waste.
Therefore
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, those drawbacks could be detrimental to the local society. The relocation of
industries
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 and businesses encouraged by the government is ubiquitous these days. In
this
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 essay, I discussed both the virtues and drawbacks of
this
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 tendency and took everything into consideration, I am inclined to say that the
overall
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 benefits of
this
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 phenomenon are superior.

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Task Response
Your essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic and effectively addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of relocating industries and businesses. However, be mindful of providing a balanced discussion by giving equal weight to both sides of the argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay shows good coherence and cohesion, with a logical sequence of ideas and clear progression. Ensure that you use transition words and phrases to enhance the overall coherence of your essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • urban sprawl
  • decentralization
  • sustainable development
  • infrastructure
  • quality of life
  • economic disparity
  • rural revitalization
  • overcrowding
  • resource allocation
  • talent retention
  • commuter issues
  • regional development
  • corporate relocation
  • workforce migration
  • urban-rural divide
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